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Blobbing is now much harder as good inheritance laws are locked away until late-game.You have to carefully manage the what each son owns. For example, giving them away fresh conquests, so they already have titles and don't inherit stuff in your capital duchy.
While frustrating, I do like this approach better. Means you have to scheme the crap out of everyone.
Dropped from almost 5k levies to like 1700, I'm guessing because they're no longer mine directly and now just provided by vassals.
It's more realistic/challenging/fun this way. In CK2 it was way too easy to simply dismiss the historical reality of messy successions.
So my sons both owned land, but the rest was still split. If I want me heir to get all my land, I should give land to all but my heir so when I die, he gets what is left?
You should probably just accept and get used to it. This is how the medieval world was. The oldest child would get the highest title and the royal capital and everything else is divided equally among the male children, excluding those who become priests/bishops or are disinherited for some other reason (like if they're blind, castrated or whatever).
The children would usually then go to war with one another and murder one another.
Welcome to the life of medieval rulers.
The majority of western Europe did not have primogeniture by 1066...
Or there is one life skill where you can become single. This will drop your fertility to 0%.
So pop an heir and then get single for life.
Pretty much, yes. Keep the stuff in the de jure capital area and give every non-primary heir something, and never, ever, have multiple top tier titles (and with the confederate partition don't even have the potential to create a second top-tier title as it will do it for you on death).
When William the Conqueror died his lands were divided between his sons (except for the youngest son who got 30,000 pieces of silver). The Normans literally had gavelkind.
Also you can "upgrade" to a better form of gavelkind as time goes on, where your main heir gets most of the land and your spares just get like one county each or something. Check the succession law tab, you'll see them.