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I think about the only really useful parts of having it as a male ruler would be if perhaps you have concubines you can seduce for baby-making, or maybe for amassing lovers to protect you against murder plots.
Also, it's helpful for being a bit disruptive. For instance, if you seduce a king's wife, he might find out -- in which case he might have her imprisoned. If that happens, it'll poison relations between the families, and will likely mean that they won't be having kids anymore. If your fling results in a bastard, it won't necessarily be found out immediately -- which might result in a character becoming a heir and then getting Disputed Heritage for a penalty to relations with the rest of his house, weakening his rule. If *never* found out, well, it'll compilcate succession in cases of multi-heir policies.
That's the thing though, right? You have multiple lovers, all of them secrets of yours. It only takes one of them to ruin your marriage and upset the whole family.
1) Seducing your wife: This will cause her to produce one baby after another. Besides you don't need a lifestyle and a full seduction tree for that.
2) Seducing random women: Lover's Pox, here we go. Also with civilized religions, pointless adulterer trait and loss of devotion ranks. Bastards have no purpose, really.
3) Seducing e.g. wives of other rulers: Stupid and dishonorable. Same as point 2.
4) Seducing family members: All of the above, just with clubfooted / dwarf / etc bonus.
You can tople small-to medium dynasties with seduction if all their offsprings are your bastards.
Bastards can be legitimized. You can keep spare heirs around in case your main heir dies without them standing to inherit anything in partition succession. Also they can be used for alliances.
This could not be further from the truth. There are numerous ways in which seduction is useful, the opinion boost, the acceptance of invite to court requests (for use as spouses, chancellors or even knights) or join plots, the increased chance of producing a child, etc.
Keep in mind that you are investing lifetime into the seduction lifestyle XP. So this competent, independent ruler could instead be doing a hundred other things which are a hundred times more useful.
But i guess you haven't met that guy yet ;)
Everything has an opportunity cost. Seduction has its uses but it's not a universal panacea.