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Screenshot:
https://evilazrael.net/tmp/theyellowking.png
https://store.steampowered.com/api/appdetails/?appids=1149400&l=english&
I understand what they're trying to do, but it's just distracting and not selling the product in my opinion.
Also, "The Yellow King is a massively-multiplayer online world unlike anything you've experienced before." sounds so cliché that it detracts my interest from the game.
"Player vs Player encounters, leaderboards and guilds offer more to do when you're sick of killing demons" - You'll get sick of doing one of the main features of our game, so we've thrown in some secondary activities.
Your wording needs work if you're trying to sell a product. Expand on what PvP situations exist (battlegrounds, open world, arenas, etc), what the leaderboards track and what you can do because of/for/with your guild.
"Additional Notes: Best experienced in TempleOS". Come on, I get wanting to be fun/creative but sell your product first before creating small content that negates the positives you do. I mean it's clear from the first reply that not everyone even knows about Zalgo.
Below your copyright, you add a small excerpt from I don't know what, but clearly Lovecraftian. But how does this relate to the game? It reads like a passage from a single player RPG yet your game is roguelike and you don't mention if there's an overall story to The Yellow King.
What are you talking about, there is nothing below the copyrights on the store page, are you sure you are F̷̴̵̨̼͖͕͇̪̫̼̜̫͈̹̝͐ͩ̃ͨͧ͌͌͊̽ͨ̃ͭ̈͌́ḙ͚͉̮̬̫̳͚̯͓̦͚̙ͦͯ̓̇ͮͭ͡͝ė̛̙̯̩̥̟̼͆̉ͨ̉ͧ̊̐͛͗̔́̾ͤ̆̚̕͘͜l̵̪̻̰̺͓̾̑͋̌͊ͬ̈̂ͥ͗̌͋͑̌͢͢͜͡ͅîͣͧ̃ͪͥ̉ͭͮ̉ͭ̏ͣ̅ͨ͏̴҉̶̯̜̗͖͚̹͎ͅn̶͇̮̪͙̥̭͔̰̤̹̞̩̱̲̉͋ͣ̒͗̍̍ͭ̐̀̇g̶̵̰̫̼̳͕̗̪̖͙̖̙̯͚̏ͫͦ̈̿ͨ̾ͣͩ̕͢͠ͅ ̦̭͓̗͎̑ͫ̾̇̓̾̚̕͡o̴̧̙̻͍ͪͭ̌ͣ͐̿̈́ͣ͒ͥ͆̉͛ͪ́̚͟k̳̯͚̤̭̪͈͓͛͑͂̅͂̄͐ͯ͂̃́͑̒ͦ͆ͩͥ̚͟a̶̷͖̠̮̲̲̬̝̹̬̜͉̲̟͖̎̏ͥͭ̆ͣͤ̑ͯͨy̡̛̛͙͉̹̖̘̺̣͍̼̙̙̮̝͙͉̯̆̅ͪ͋ͣ̈́ͭ́͛͑ͭ́̃̓̏̇̈́ͮͫ͠͠?
But in all seriousness I enjoy that the developers are trying to be mysterious with certain aspects of the game to spark curiosity. I have enough of an understanding of the game at this point in time to keep this game on my radar but not enough to sell me on the game. When the game is released into Early Access I'll be able to get that additional information easily and make my choice.
There's a balance between informative and mysterious! If we did what every other indie game does, you'd probably not be here right now!
Hopefully not too many.
The "mysterious" text and the fact that the devs actually talk to people in here is the reason why I'm here.
But you know what would be awesome?
A̲̼̹̳̖̱͚̅̈́ ̹͉̺̰̹̹͕ͦ̇̈́ͧ̚g̯̟̳̭̭̯͈͍̓̃̈̏̀̀̏̇̚ǎ̱͖̣ͥ̆͂ͥ͗̿͊ͭm̟ͮ̈ͣe͔͚͇͔̘̮̣͚͆̒ͩ͂ͮ̒̚p̻̖̺̜͍̜̺͐͒̑ͯ̍̈́l͔̥͆̓͆ã̘̞̞̘̼͈̜̐ͥ̑y̟̤̥̬͕̣̺̙̙̋ͣ̾͋ͤ̂ͨ̚̚ ̤̱͚̻̱̫̹̭̃ͤ͛ͬv̫̦ͧͦi̟̤̭̞͚̬̠̿̇ͦ̐̑ͫ́̒d̘̭͚͖̝̪ͭͣ̐̐̚e͚̗̳͒ͩ́̋̀̚̚o͍̙͇̭ͦ̊͊ͯ͂̉̚ͅ!͈̟̽̎͌͑̎ͅ