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If you expected this to be a more sandboxy FF14/WoW you're in for a bad surprise.
All the magic happens when making gold. Almost all viable goldmaking methods involve putting yourself in some form of danger. The best trade pack runs make you go through war zones, fishing opens you up for pirate/red boarding and stealing your fish, abyssal raids are the main naval warfare events for that sweet 120g pack, etc.
Lv 1-30 the game gives you some quick and gentle levelling content, after which you'll spend most of your time in contested zones.
But that doesn't mean you have no choice.
Contested zones have a war rotation, going from tension lv1-5 (low reward pvp, lowbies have a HUGE defense buff) to conflict and war (high reward pvp, bigger pve drop rates, no buffs, ass fest) to peace (pvp not allowed, lower pve drop rates).
So what would be the absolute safest way to play if you're allergic to get-one-shot-by-a-7k-gearscore-darkrunner pvp?
During peace time, grind those quests like a monkey, get in a quest raid if you find people in your zone, don't lose time doing dungeons or anything else.
Then when peace time ends, either you take a small risk and continue until tension rises, or you do dungeons, or spend labor with crafting/vocation quests/safe trade pack runs/fishing raids(risky but $$$). Don't worry it'll take more than enough time to make up for it and you'll get some really nice mid-long term returns. At lv55 everything requires a ton of gold and labor, you'll be happy to have that farmhouse full of larders and fishing boat full of smug anime girl picture frames.
From lv45 on you can also levelup at an insane speed with an aegis island party (mob grinding).
Once at lv55 you can crank up that hiram gear, play a skullknight/shadowcloak and laugh at people barely being able to scratch you during those rare moments when they aren't under one of your gorillion CCs.
...Or you can stay in your nation's capital and play the evangelion opening theme MIDI/MML on your lute all day.
This also works if you want a fully pacifist harvest moon/stardew valley-ish gameplay it's entirely feasible. And outside of gilda and vocation points you don't need to do dailies for that.
You can also do another form of more skill-based PvP(vE) which doesn't involve instakilling, boring dailies and insane hiram gear requirements: Abyssal/Lusca raids.
For that you need to find a nice naval guild that has a decent warship (epic sails, figurehead and cannons, which most ships have nowadays), grab some cannonballs, shatigon sands and you're good to go. You can even go naked as long as you pepper those pirates good and your steerman keeps pirate boarders away.
Personally it's what I prefer in ArcheAge, incredibly fun.
Your first line of defense/deterrence is location. Very often, these same high levels patrol or camp where they think players go through. Understand areas that see a high volume of players passing through them. Anywhere with a community center is almost certain to have trouble during war. Housing areas, the main roads that lead through zones, dungeons; you're gonna see people.
Go off road. Watch who's watching you in town. Don't build your shack in war.
Your second line of defense is guards. They're capable of nuking everything. If someone so much as hits you for 1 damage the guard will turn them into a fillet. However, the guards have a detection range. If you're not in it, the A30's neckbeard will quiver in anticipation. Generally a death at higher GS will put the guy's repair bill upwind of 1G, which is substantially more than the 0 you spent repairing if they killed you.
Third line is fighting fire with fire. I hate being that guy, but make friends who can take those kinds of players on, or better yet make you into the kind of player who can slap your bullies around. Of course there are 8GS guys who would have a lethal allergic reaction to not following what their subscription to Meta Weekly told them to do, and you'll probably drown in the sheer amount of profuse sweating and acrid odors oozing from their showerless forms (hidden away behind muh waifu), but it makes you that much more dangerous to them, and everyone else.
Level 30 is a crossroads, OP. You either get smart or you get farmed. How you choose to go either way - including quitting the game - is your call.
Guards can one-shot warships.
Why need heroes when every single guard in the game is freakin thanos.
Well said +1. Having briefly dabbled in the 'assumed way to play' during AA inception, I quickly discovered that the life of a peaceful trader & farmer was the way forward for me. Trade runs through peaceful zones are still profitable and depending on which materials you haul, good coinage can be obtained. You should also consider getting into real estate (and potentially becoming a land baron), as this opens up another dimension to the game - as does exploration, interior design etc. There is absolutely no need to PVP, should you choose not to.
Don't be discouraged OP. The 5% minority does exist :). However, unless you engage in PVP related aspects, you will never experience the game fully.