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I haven't accepted any demand recently, could be bugged and trigger reject instead of accept. It's playable without ever accepting any demand, but that would be a serious bug.
Edit: also beat to look at how they feel about you. If they are hate filled and have a superior army they want to conqour you regardless and the grievance was just there to build up war support.
Reject demand has two purposes:
- Have more demands give a bit of war support against the AI at each turn. but it's a slow way.
- If you feel weak agains the AI, reject demands is with the purpose to remove an annoying demand, or force them declare war so they have war support lost at east turn, but you need be ready for the war anyway.
So in practice, don't bother reject demands if you aren't ready for a war it's hardly worth it.
To build up war support, I never dig it fully, even if I often had to build it up. The demands is a slow method. The fastest method is win some combats, so lure some stacks into a failed combat thanks to reinforcement you hide not far. But there should be other ways I didn't bother dig yet, forgive grievances, accept demand, ransak with some cultures or perhaps badges.
To control an enemy war support, firstly it's pointless against Military culture. Otherwise it's tricky, but I also didn't dig this topic. i quoted it only though some AI against which I wanted build war support and it was ultra hard. The first point is keep all armies in frontiers, so avoid any combat. Otherwise avoid create grievances against you but it's rather hard because there's many method, including influence and religion. For religion you have an edict that should disable religion grievance against you. For Influence you have an edict to lower a lot influence against you.
The original poster accepted a demand, not rejected. The AI attack them after accepting their demands.
So I did lmao my bad
There are actions that won't generate a grievance and still decrease relationship with AI. It's quite probable that grievances duration is lower than the corresponding effect on relationship with AI.
But there are two elements that push AI to wars no matter real relationship:
- No matter AI traits when it is being cornered without expansion possibilities it will go to war, except if you are much more powerful. If that's the case of this AI don't search further, that's the problem.
- If you are too weak military, except Pacifist AI, most AI will tend make war with you sooner or later.
For the military power, it's clear, ensure have good armies and not hide them. I wouldn't suggest put them at AI frontier which is perhaps considered as an aggression, but not far from it.
For AI expansion possibilities, for sure there's a long phase of territory expansion, but if you want avoid war to focus more on different targets, you need consider neighbors position to let them place to expand. It's often very tempting to be greedy and try block an AI with territory expansion, but it's not often that useful.
Beside some awful Neolithic start, I never have problem to share the cake to have a large part and ensure each AI on the continent have a fair share even if smaller. But this require have done a serious scouting, and sometimes it can be tricky. The typical tricky case is one or two AI packed, letting behind them large territories and you didn't scout them, you can think the cake is quite smaller than it is really.