Clarifying Intended Scene Outcome (Act II, Astarion Romance Spoilers)

[sacredcoffin]

The spoilers are going to be unmarked for this but kept a bit vague for the sake of discussion, mind the title if you're really trying to avoid them.

In Act II, there's two variations of a scene where Astarion can discuss his issues with physical intimacy after how Cazador used him for two centuries. However, one of them that seems to trigger randomly (perhaps approval based, though neither I or a friend have gotten it despite playing through the act with different approval ratings) and one immediately follows you encounter with the Drow alchemist in Moonrise Towers.

From how I've seen his romance arc discussed as a whole, the latter seems to be far more common an experience, but my quibble is that it's far less clear about what the intended tone of the conversation is meant to be. The only way to have Astarion open up about his trauma is to make a joke about wanting him to throw himself at you in thanks. While that's in line with his sense of humour up to that point, and his dislike of being coddled, I suspect many of us read the room and jumped to reassuring him about our respect for his bodily autonomy and our care for him... as in that version of the scene, that's the topic at hand.

What this means is that if you got a scene where you opted to be empathetic and respectful after he voiced discomfort over the idea of being used, the conversation about his discomfort with intimacy just never comes up. Cut to me another 40 hours later watching Astarion dissociate during an intimate moment in Act III despite resolving his personal quest, having maxed out trust, and always treating him with care and respect... and in a scene that had given my Tav the option to check that he was comfortable with the situation twice in a row.

I completely understand why he'd be dishonest about that to someone who hadn't romanced him, but from what I've gathered from others, he'll typically admit to his discomfort beforehand if you've had the conversation but he hasn't had a chance to resolve all his complicated feelings about intimacy. The fact that my Tav could prove his commitment to Astarion's right to say no and to be comfortable as his lover, but still get that outcome because he chose to be cautious and respect his feelings, really stung.

While there is an option in the Drow activated scene that lets you offer to hold out on being intimate for a time, it can seem to come out of left field if you missed the conversation, and I haven't been able to invest the dozens of hours into checking if it provides the better outcome if you miss the conversation but offer to abstain anyway.

I think it would be ideal if that version of the scene could be a bit clearer with its intentions (even if just by gently looping the character back to a dialogue option that prompted the same discussion) or if the alternative version of the scene automatically triggered later if you somehow missed the conversation in the first one by choosing to hug it out.