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Delete your save and just play a normal custom/origin character. From the sounds of it, this is what you're actually looking for. Don't know why you even bothered rolling up DU if you have a problem with sometimes "failing" to resist the temptations when it is literally the entire point of that origin story.
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/urge
https://www.britannica.com/dictionary/urge
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/urge
https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/urge_1
Now that we've covered the word urge. Using basic language skills, adding "dark" (in the context of evil), then one may draw a reasonable conclusion that you would not be in control.
I don't understand the confusion.
Why did you pick it? I mean "The Dark Urge" yeah the alarm bells should be going off
just for the name alone without even researching it......some people are just not the
sharpest tools in the old shed.
Except that doesn't happen. There is literally one time someone is killed with zero input or ability to stop it. The rest of the time you can ignore the urges. It gets more difficult the closer you get to endgame as it'll carry dice checks.
Things are very clearly written.
In every other case you have a choice to resist the Urge or comply.
Also the whole story of the Dark Urge is directly linked to the main plot, so i prety much consider it as a MUST if you are rolling a custom character.