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I suggest starting a fresh campaign together and stick to that. You just go into the multiplayer in the main menu, create a lobby, and have your wife in your steam friendlist for her to find you in the multiplayer lobby. If you are living together its even easier. Just go into options and set LAN > Yes, and friends only > Yes. So only you and your wife will be in the game. This way she can find you under the LAN tab in the multiplayer window.
For an even better experience than what the base game brings to the table, I can give you there tips:
If you are like us and love playing tank/healer roles together, fighter class with weapon master (it has CC and aggro skills + its tanky and packs a punch) and cleric with life domain (the literal healer) feels very satisfying.
Using spells in the base game is kinda restricting though. The Doubled Spell Slots mod helps with that (makes casters be able to cast more often), the Short Rest Refreshes Spells mod (so you don't have to long rest after nearly every fight) and the Ring of Favor mod (gets rid of the constant miss miss miss situations when attacking regardless of class).
Last but not least, if you both feel like making custom group members and raising the party limit size to be more than just 4, get the Party Limit Begone mod + the multiplayer workaround to make custom group members (Google can give you video tutorial or text guides. It only takes about 5 minutes to do after you know how it works).
1: if you both want custom made chars you have to start a fresh multiplayer game and both be there from the beginning. From that point on her char will be there when she joins you.
1b: she can join your single player game but she will have to play as one of the other members in your party.
2: Remember whoever starts a conversation or interaction is the one who's skills / proficiency get used. So make sure whoever you intend to be the "face" of the party initiates the conversations.
My newer computer handles it fine but the older one couldn't.