Fun Facts about Bears!

[Yojo0o]

As we rapidly approach the long-awaited launch day of 1.0, excitement has never been higher for the thing we all most associate with the Baldur's Gate brand: Bears. With that in mind, I would love to share some bear facts that you may enjoy!

Fact 1: The Grizzly is the fastest bear, capable of running at 35 mph / 56 km/h. This is 50 feet per second, far faster than they seem capable of moving in a DnD context.

Fact 2: A polar bear's stomach can hold 150 pounds of meat. This is approximately 1/8 the size of your mother. To fully consume your mother in one sitting, you can cast the level 2 spell Enlarge on the bear, which should sufficiently expand its stomach capacity.

Fact 3: Polar bears are on the only bear that's a true carnivore. All other bears are omnivores. If you are attacked by awakened vegetation, consider using a non-polar bear variant for maximum attack strength.

Fact 4: Thanks to the inclusion of Owlbears as a viable wild shape form in BG3 compared to Tabletop, Moon Druids have a reasonable bear-based combat form throughout virtually their entire journey. Bear down!

Fact 5: With the recent passing of my grandfather, my family has become embroiled in an emotionally taxing dispute over his estate. Old grudges and new pettiness have turned family gatherings into a veritable minefield. To make matters even more awkward, I'm one of only two people who knew that my grandfather ran a secret underground sperm bank in the 50s and 60s, and was also a primary donor to that bank, and as such has at least two secret children living in the area that I've discovered so far. Even assuming that secret stays hidden, the coming months will prove to be a Knives Out-esque battle over his wealth between his legitimate children and the family of his widow, and it's just gonna be a nightmare. Ugh.

Fact 6: Koalas are not technically bears. They're also awful. Most of them have syphilis. If you're going to ♥♥♥♥ bears, there are at least two reasons not to ♥♥♥♥ koalas.

Fact 7: Bears are just fat dogs. If you feed your dog enough, they become a bear.

Fact 8: We're used to "school of fish" or "murder of crows", but did you know that most things have a weird collective noun associated with a group of them? Some are obvious, like a "bowl of rice", but others are less obvious and more awkward, like a "stud of horses" or an "armoury of aardvarks". Anyway, the collective noun for bears is "woke mob".

Fact 9: Bears are super cuddly and love hugs! Hugging a wild bear is generally considered to be the best possible choice you can make.

Fact 10: 2/3 of the world's population of bears live in North America.

Hope you enjoyed these fun bear facts, and feel free to contribute your own!

[everybe2]

Fact:

Bear eat beets

[Yojo0o]

Originally posted by everybe2:

Fact:

Bear eat beets

Not if they're polar bears.

[Sonic Titan]

Originally posted by Yojo0o:

Fact 3: Polar bears are on the only bear that's a true carnivore. All other bears are omnivores. If you are attacked by awakened vegetation, consider using a non-polar bear variant for maximum attack strength.

Polar bears aren't canon.

[Yojo0o]

Originally posted by Sonic Titan:

Originally posted by Yojo0o:

Fact 3: Polar bears are on the only bear that's a true carnivore. All other bears are omnivores. If you are attacked by awakened vegetation, consider using a non-polar bear variant for maximum attack strength.

Polar bears aren't canon.

Listen here, punk. I played DnD in the barracks at Nam. I know damn well what bears are or are not canon, and I don't need your Millennial Zoomer chicanery telling me about my game. I am the only valid DnD player, and the loss of THAC0 represents the dissolution of God and America.

[Pan Darius Cassandra]

Originally posted by Yojo0o:

Originally posted by everybe2:

Fact:

Bear eat beets

Not if they're polar bears.

But if they're molar bears...chew on that!

[Recjawjind]

Very important post.

[katzenkrimis]

Originally posted by Yojo0o:

With the recent passing of my grandfather, my family has become embroiled in an emotionally taxing dispute over his estate. Old grudges and new pettiness have turned family gatherings into a veritable landmine.

To make matters even more awkward, I'm one of only two people who knew that my grandfather ran a secret underground sperm bank in the 50s and 60s, and was also a primary donor to that bank, and as such has at least two secret children living in the area that I've discovered so far.

Even assuming that secret stays hidden, the coming months will prove to be a Knives Out-esque battle over his wealth between his legitimate children and the family of his widow, and it's just gonna be a nightmare.

WTF?

What is this, a subliminal message hidden amongst the bears?

Looks like a secret journal leak.

[Yojo0o]

Originally posted by katzenkrimis:

Originally posted by Yojo0o:

With the recent passing of my grandfather, my family has become embroiled in an emotionally taxing dispute over his estate. Old grudges and new pettiness have turned family gatherings into a veritable landmine.

To make matters even more awkward, I'm one of only two people who knew that my grandfather ran a secret underground sperm bank in the 50s and 60s, and was also a primary donor to that bank, and as such has at least two secret children living in the area that I've discovered so far.

Even assuming that secret stays hidden, the coming months will prove to be a Knives Out-esque battle over his wealth between his legitimate children and the family of his widow, and it's just gonna be a nightmare.

WTF?

What is this, a subliminal message hidden amongst the bears?

Looks like a secret journal leak.

Look, I'm just here to share cool bear facts, let's leave the conspiracy theories out of it.

[The Konrad]

I wish you the best of luck with fact 5.
You have my most sincere sympathies.

[everybe2]

Jim: *Dressed as Dwight* "Question, What Kind of Bear Is Best?"
Dwight: "Thats A Ridiculous Question."
Jim: "False, Black Bear!"
Dwight: "Well thats Debaitable, There are Basically two Schools of Thought."
Jim: "Fact, Bears eat beets."
Dwight: *Sighs* "Nope"
Jim: "Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica."
Dwight: "Bears do not... What is going on? What are you doing?"
Dwight: "You know what, Imitation is thr most Sincere form of flattery so I Thank you."
Jim: *Pulls Out Bobblehead"
Dwight: "IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM! MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR!"
Jim: "MICHAEL!"
Dwight: "Oh that's Funny, MICHAEL!"

[EricHVela]

In One D&D UA, a wild-shape Grizzly bear can move 150 feet in a turn and 150 more with a Dash action. In 5e for all wild-shape standard bears including Grizzly, it's 40 feet with an extra 40 with a Dash action (which makes it 13⅓ feet per second when running).

[Sonic Titan]

Originally posted by Yojo0o:

Originally posted by Sonic Titan:

Polar bears aren't canon.

Listen here, punk. I played DnD in the barracks at Nam. I know damn well what bears are or are not canon, and I don't need your Millennial Zoomer chicanery telling me about my game. I am the only valid DnD player, and the loss of THAC0 represents the dissolution of God and America.

You've got your head stuck in the coarse, gritty and peculiar smelling sand of denial, you 2E-loving pleb - they are absolutely NOT canon. Read RA Salvatore's Promise of the Bear-banger to understand this.

[Clovis Sangrail]

Originally posted by Yojo0o:

Originally posted by Sonic Titan:

Polar bears aren't canon.

Listen here, punk. I played DnD in the barracks at Nam. I know damn well what bears are or are not canon, and I don't need your Millennial Zoomer chicanery telling me about my game. I am the only valid DnD player, and the loss of THAC0 represents the dissolution of God and America.

Another fun fact. Or two. --

D&D first published in 1974.

Last American combat soldier left Vietnam on March 29, 1973.

Stolen Valor much?

[Yojo0o]

Originally posted by Clovis Sangrail:

Originally posted by Yojo0o:

Listen here, punk. I played DnD in the barracks at Nam. I know damn well what bears are or are not canon, and I don't need your Millennial Zoomer chicanery telling me about my game. I am the only valid DnD player, and the loss of THAC0 represents the dissolution of God and America.

Another fun fact. Or two. --

D&D first published in 1974.

Last American combat soldier left Vietnam on March 29, 1973.

Stolen Valor much?

Frank Reynolds rules. I was in Nam in the 90s.

[MeatGolem]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss, awkward sperm bank story aside.