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Just adding to the mix leads to nothing if you did not attempt the mentioned solution.
This one works. it seems you can't create a multiplayer party while at camp before long rest.
I can confirm this worked for me. Thank you so much for the help!
Go to 2:20 in this video if you don't know how to do what OP told me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaXPbGxD6V0
After my friend created the room, we skipped past the create a character screen, then we skipped the starting cinematic and loaded the previous save. This worked first time without an issue.
We did try making another save file and loading it to see if the error would stop popping up, but it still does. This means you have to direct connect, start a fresh game, skip past the character creation screen and starting cinematic, then load the save you want to play.
That is a huge pain in the butt, but it works. I haven't been able to play with my friend for 2 weeks now, so I'll call this a win.