Shar joke

[Terran Ghost]

Hello!

Why are clerics of Shar the worst?

Because they're always throwing shade!

[Isa_Fuie]

What is the difference between Wulbren Bongle and a bucket of poo?
The bucket.

Karlach said she had a very hot backside. I thought she was trying to flirt. I didn't know she meant it quite literally. Found out the hard way.

I told Raphael to go F--- himself. Little did I know I was actually speaking to Haarlep.

What is the difference between Astarion and a mosquito? One is an annoying blood sucking pest, the other is really just an insect.

[Mander]

Originally posted by Isa_Fuie:

What is the difference between Wulbren Bongle and a bucket of poo?
The bucket.

Karlach said she had a very hot backside. I thought she was trying to flirt. I didn't know she meant it quite literally. Found out the hard way.

I told Raphael to go F--- himself. Little did I know I was actually speaking to Haarlep.

What is the difference between Astarion and a mosquito? One is an annoying blood sucking pest, the other is really just an insect.

Astarion bashing? Don't mind if I do.


Why did Scratch kill Astarion?

Because there is place enough for only one son of a b i t c h at camp.

[Mander]

Why Astarion rebelled against Szarr?
Because Cazador sucks. But it wasn't the best idea for our vampire spawn: now Astarion is free to finally sucks too.

[Mander]

Halsin, how do you fish without a rod?
With my bear hands.

[Mander]

Why are druids the best at exploiting the loot for the party?
They have a real talent for pawning stuff.

[Mander]

Why did the fey warlock cross the road?
To get to the other sidhe

[Mander]

Originally posted by Chaosolous:

Mander; some might hate you for what you've done here.

but I think it's great.

;)

[Mander]

How do you call a singing necromancer?

An Ouija Bard

[Isa_Fuie]

You've dished out some good jokes there, Mander. Well done.

"Lady of bowels, excrete us" -- Cleric and follower of Shart.

[With reference to the history of former U.S President Nixon]
During the early days of the Emperor (the mind flayer), he was caught in a scandal where he tried to cover up his involvement in eavesdropping on his political opponents. You could say it was... You guessed it... Baldur's Gate.

[Hyperseg]

What did the Gondians get for Gortash's birthday?

A Steel Watch

[Mander]

Goodbye storm sorcerer: you will be mist.

[seeker1]

This forum needs sound effects you can embed in posts as well as visual icons. A cymbal crash would be greatly appreciated.

[Mander]

Not exactly a pun, but the story it's too good to not be shared:

“Superior choice for character creation, is a female dragonborn paladin with noble background. She can be the knight, the dragon and the damsel in distress at the same time.”

Priest: “Sir Aldes of Mosley, the church has evidence to suggest that the Princess Miranda of Foxley has been kidnapped by Firefang the Ruthless. Will you rescue her on behalf of His Holiness?”
Sir Miranda Aldes, born in Foxley, honorarily knighted in Mosley as a Black Knight after winning a jousting tournament, who’s rebellious teenage nickname was Firefang: “So, about all that…”

[Mander]

Originally posted by seeker1:

This forum needs sound effects you can embed in posts as well as visual icons. A cymbal crash would be greatly appreciated.

Frick off, Halsin fishing with his bear hands is gold from the sky and you know it XD

[seeker1]

Comedy is all about delivery and timing, my good man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E64OI0FTnwU