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Did you truly believe her to be a tender flower, after you find her clad in medium armour, with a mace and shield, and when she helps you fight your way through nautiloid? ROFL, indeed
Sorry, I can't really help you either (as I intentionally avoided any kind of romance in my own playthrough). But did you really reload a save from dozens of hours earlier, only to romance a character? That's devoted.
Hope it's of some use to you.
https://bg3.wiki/wiki/Shadowheart/romance
BTW, there's two ways to check a romance status in this game. The "meta" way via script extender. (Which can also turn it on or off, but in any case lets you check) but that requires modding. Here's the other ...
If you can discuss the relationship with SH and ask for a kiss (which now appears to include more varieties in patch 6), the romance is still on. If she talks about you being an ex-lover or mentions breaking up, it's off.
Far tamer than Karlach or Minthara's.