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Why did Cazador have a whole bunch of Spawn he did not care a whiff about? Because it increased his power.
Having a powerful ally who is also tied to you through vampirism is precisely what a power-hungry vampire would do. In fact, that is basically their entire schtick.
The tadpole makes you resist the effects of the vampiric bond, just like Astarion could resist Cazador's bond. However, Astarion himself apparently doesn't realise that until he turns you.
My character is Astarion's closest ally, the one who made his Ascension possible. My character also a literal demigod (Chosen of Bhaal) and a partial-Illithid. It makes a whole lot of sense for Astarion to strengthen our bond through vampirism. And denying it to my character risks making us enemies, which would be unwise for Astarion.
Again, there are at least two systems in BG3 that should have come into play here: Relationship and Social skills. My relationship with Astarion is at maximum, and my character's social skills are through the roof. So why couldn't he convince Astarion to make him a vampire, after helping him become Ascendant?
Except....he didn't. Well, not deliberately. And if you go into his story and Faerun vampire lor in general, it's clear he wasn't fully in control in that moment.
He did, and deliberately so. Cazador's control over him was cut off by the tadpole, and he is entirely in his right mind before, during and after the attack (I don't even think D&D vampires have "blood frenzy" as a regular feature). He's also just plain chaotic evil, so killing your character for any perceived profit is entirely up his alley.
If you pay attention to Astarion's story it's mentioned that vampires are extremely selfish, power hungry and they RARELY make other true vampires. The first thing Astarion tells you about vampires is that one of the only things that is dangerous to a vampire is, you guessed it, another vampire.
He just gained the ultimate freedom for himself. Why in Bhaal's name would he risk that immediately by creating another vampire?
Also, while yes, it's kinda rude that you can't start and play as a custom vampire-spawn but there is a way. You can start the game as Astarion. He is male and if you romance one of the females, he's not gay.
There are plenty of "other vampires" in the world already. Astarion is not just "another vampire", he is a Vampire Ascendant, a king among vampires. My character is Astarion's closest and most powerful ally, it would make eminent sense for Astarion to strengthen our alliance by turning me into a vampire (and who knows, possibly controlling me through the vampire bond, despite the tadpole - he is Ascendant after all). At the very least, that would tie my interests to Astarion's even further, since I would be of the same vampiric "tribe" as himself.
Astarion is so damn gay, not even screwing a woman would un-gay him. Being gay is basically his main character trait, alongside with being a cold-blooded bastard. He's like Dr Frankenfurter: yeah he screws a woman in the movie, but does that make him less gay? Hell no!
Not exactly a blood frenzy, no, but being blood starved does effect their judgment, just as malnourished can do to a human. "Wasn't fully in control" doesn't inherently mean "someone else was controlling him". Also worth noting that he's the victim of literally centuries of abuse beyond what any mortal would survive, much less endure.
He will tell you himself in a conversation later on if you're playing the Durge that he understands what it's like to lose himself because he gets like that when the hunger is too strong.
As far as his alignment goes, more neutral evil at the start. Un-ascended Astarion moves toward true neutral by the end of the game. He goes through a LOT of growth through the game. When you meet him, he'd just escaped a life of being scared, broken, and having to be paranoid all the time.
It is also worth noting that he promises never to bite you or any of the party without permission after that one moment of weakness and never once even attempts to break that promise. In fact, he promises to keep the biting to "bandits and the like" that they're fighting and will likely have to kill anyway. And by all indications, that's how it goes.
IMO it makes sense to me because even if you're his lover he doesn't make you his equal. He grants your wish but that request kills any sort of respect he has for you. Once he ascends his morality (Ha, funny term for the sassy lad.) he completely is lost to the power and the 'freedom' it grants. It's a gamble that he can't risk.
The PC IS his most powerful ally and after ascending, it's the only advantage that he has that the PC doesn't. The party goes through a lot of baddies that are strong af, including the avatars of gods. With how self centered he becomes after accession he is no longer thinking about the party as equal allies, the PC included.
I'm not saying it's not bananas to have to be in a romance to be a certain race. It would have been awesome if they gave us the option but I think, with the story they've created it makes sense at least. The only way for the selfish git to share any amount of new power is if you were literally as close to him as you ever possibly could be.
Haha, true, but my female PC romance with him doesn't feel very gay. He's just very good at getting people into bed with him, doesn't matter the gender.
Aw come on, that was just him trying to ingratiate himself into the group. He was perfectly able to "control" his urges, as his actions clearly demonstrate.
Nah. Shadowheart is Neutral Evil. Astarion is about as Chaotic Evil as it gets, without crossing into Stupid Evil territory. He laughs at Durge murderizing a squirrel, and generally supports all the mayhem and carnage choices (while Shart favors deception/indirect approach). He was the only companion to support my character becoming a Chosen of Bhaal (who is a Chaotic Evil God of Murder).
Yeah, sure, the "good route" involves you turning him into a more neutral type of character (like with Viconia in BG2-ToB). But through most of the game, he is clearly chaotic evil.
That doesn't make him good or neutral. Most every villain has a "sob story" up his sleeve.
In my game, I threatened to stake him if he ever tries biting party members again. The threat held, as well as the need to have allies with a common cause. He's evil, not stupid.
Like you just said, if he turns you, he considers you "beneath" himself, a weaker creature. So he doesn't view you as a rival in vampire powers. Why then hesitate to offer this "gift" to the main character? If anything, it should decrease any rivalry, since:
a) the player and Astarion would now be united by more common interests (as vampires),
b) the player would be under Astarion's "bond" that Astarion could hope to capitalize on somehow (even if it doesn't work directly due to the illithid tadpole),
c) Astarion thereby "repays" the player's help in his Ascension and further cements the player's loyalty.
Whereas by refusing the player this "gift", Astarion risks alienating himself and turning the player into an actual enemy.
My character IS as close to Astarion as technically possible within the game's mechanics (Relationship gauge at maximum). Having this be a "romantic" decision doesn't make sense at all, since Vampires create other Vampires/Spawn not out of any romantic feeling but in order to gain more power for themselves, and my character is the most powerful ally Astarion could hope for.
In fact, a "romantic" decision would have been for Astarion to REFUSE to turn the player into a vampire spawn, since Astarion knows very well how sad and depraved such existence can be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-flrAZTM-6s
Take that to the bank, dah-ling.
The level of entitlement is unreal.
Did you know that sometimes in (roleplaying) games, some gameplay options are gated behind choices? Madness, I know, but there you are