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And no, futa is not heterophobic. Never been my thing but my preferences do not dictate to others. The existence of one thing is not an insult to something different.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Vile_Darkness
That's the thing about Faerûn. Nobody needs anyone else's lore to justify their version of it.
There's a version where Thunder damage is Thor (Lightning) damage instead. The sky comes down at night and high altitudes at night are high risk of asphyxiation.
There's another where a pair of kings of an elven kingdom have a son who is their genetic heir.
Do they need to justify themselves to you?
Nope.
Is any of that in the campaigns I've managed? Nope. They don't need to justify their lore to me any more than I need to justify mine to them. Each table plays its own way, nobody makes demands of anyone else, and we all get along just fine.
Stop demanding other tables play your way. BG3 is Larian's table, and they give a lot of freedom to players. When players balk at the mere possibility of playing another way, those players come across as too sensitive to make their own choices, be happy with it, and ignore the rest.
Obviously I'm unlikely to change your rather set mind but no, it is not heterophobic to like something that happens not to be cishet. I'm rather partial to green eyes, does this make me brown-eye-phobic?
Also, using that term "cishet" precludes you already captured by this ideology. And if not liking something that isnt "cishet" is not hetero-phobia, then my not liking things that are gay is not homophobia, is it?
Also magic... and any creature that can self-morph their body (A variant of Doppelgangers), anything Succubus/incubus related cuz 'takes the form of what their victim desires the most',
I will say tho, that people of any setting like D&D usually dun have the leisure and freedom of time and energy to spend on much more than daily survival/work to support a living. Just like we didn't really have all the whole gender-stuff back in the roman empire times, middle ages, etc. etc.
So in my personal opinion, it doesn't really fit WELL as a 'natural' part of D&D. Cyberpunk or Shadowrun? sure. Low-magic fantasy or high-magic fantasy? Not really - unless as mentioned about we talk some crazed wizard doing things with bodies and trying to fused them together frankenstein-style, or effects of the far/outer realms, magical disguise or shape-morphing, etc.