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If you did not get the Wilderness cutscene then it is too late. It was possible up to Act 2.
I'm doing a coop run with the wife, getting her to make all the NPC interactions because I already beat the game once and wanted her to be in the drivers seat, because of this I didn't get any SH reputation and couldn't get the wine scene at the end of Act 1. Going into Act 2, gave her the flower, let her do the gauntlet, got her rep up to high, did the selune path and went into Act 3. When I take her to the trial of love at the circus, I selected her, was able to pass enough questions to pass, the druid gave the line for romance being true, which implied there could of been something there, but thats appears to be as far as it goes. Kind of annoying because there is dialog/interactions that are on the verge of being romantic in nature and your just friend zoned I guess lol. Honestly giving her the flower in act 2 should of been the kick off for her romance, drinking some wine and fooling around isn't exactly a hard romantic lock IRL at least. lol
I'm not really sure why you can't just declare your interests at any point up until the very end of the game assuming you didn't sleep with everything that moved. If you started romance later in the game you'd simply just miss some cut scenes which would just roll into the literal piles of stuff you'll never see in a single run. I can't think of any concrete reason why a late romance wouldn't work in the flow of the game, especially since Act 3 is hella long. Overall its pretty hard to get her rep up high enough organically without looking at guides to have that positive rating, even if you and a coop player are taking equal turns making decisions.
Yea her Act 1 position sucks. Your not allowed to be too nosy, but theres a point where you need to sort of gently push to get to know her, and if you don't do it, she tells you to get stuffed during the party and go bang Gale LOL.
Oh well, this time at least I got to sleep with the "free agents" without consequences lol.
If its going to completely mess up your run and desire to the play the game, I did stumble across a reddit post that explains how to use a mod to set the romance state manually. You basically install the mod, follow instructions, and uncheck anyone in the party you don't want the relationship status with. I personally don't care enough to do it, I'm fine with playing it as she lies, but if your not, shouldn't be hard to find in a search
I hear you. I needed 6 months before i wanted to start a second run, its a great game but its a commitment forsure lol