Question about Gale's Romance

[Isengrym]

Okay, this may sound funny, given the number of comments from people who ended up in a romance with Gale without apparently meaning to, but I'm wondering if I just locked myself out of his romance.

I'm in Act I and just got the scene where he offered to reach into the Weave with my PC. I feel like they don't know each other all that well yet and I see my PC as somewhat reserved, so when the narrator described the moment as intimate, I took the second option, along the lines of "this has been nice, and this seems like a nice place to end things for tonight." Gale's approval just entered the "good" range, but subsequently I don't see an option to flirt with him, whereas I do see one with Shadowheart, with whom I've never flirted, I've just been patient and sympathetic. (To be clear, I haven't taken that flirt option with Shadowheart, it's just there.)

I'd prefer not to commit to a romance this early on, but I'd also prefer not to string characters along if I'm ultimately not going to romance them.

I tried googling a bit but didn't find a definite answer. I'm trying not to spoil the entire game for myself, and I can't assume info from Early Access is still accurate. Any clarification would be appreciated. Thanks!

[Taifun_Vash]

I think that was the one that I had chosen which made him the best friend in my playthrough.

[Isengrym]

Thanks! So people who don't want to romance him can totally avoid it, but I need to make up my mind, it sounds like.

[rubberducky102760]

All of them seem to have some early response trigger that cools their jets and pretty much stifles the romance. I told Astarion I'd hook up with him after the tiefling party, but didn't show after thinking about it a bit and deciding to give Gale another go, and we have been cool since, although his approval is low compared to everyone else. My first playthrough, I thought we had the magic scene on the night of the party, and he seemed almost pushed at me by the tieflings and other NPCs hanging around camp. Second time, that came a few long rests later, with no NPCs congratulating me on my relationship with Gale. We also have a conversation glitch where there's an option to ask him to kiss me multiple times until I finally exit the conversation. Then he does the "a bond like ours hardly needs blah-blah-blah" and I have to exit. Whatever. I got all the romance scenes, and I guess I'll see if the proposal triggers after the final boss fight, but I think something with the romance is bugged. Not broken, but glitchy compared my first playthrough.

[Taifun_Vash]

At least he didn't restart his flirting, in a maxed relationshipbar, but I also rejected him before that once already.

[rubberducky102760]

My son ended up in the unintentional romance and had to break it off. I think there even might have been crying involved. He was a little mortified. I told him he needed to pay better attention to what was being said and his responses.

[Isengrym]

Follow-up question: if I flirt with him now, will there be a period during which I could break it off without making him really upset?

[Taifun_Vash]

Gale, Lae zel are the loyal ones, Astarion and Shadowheart are the more open minded. With the later two you could have a relationship at the same time, while Gale doesn't like to share.
If you have two romantical involved characters in the same party they react to each other, if something happens to the other.
And rubberducky102760 had already answered that post a bit.

[Isengrym]

Originally posted by rubberducky102760:

My son ended up in the unintentional romance and had to break it off. I think there even might have been crying involved. He was a little mortified. I told him he needed to pay better attention to what was being said and his responses.

I'm sorry your son had that experience. It looked pretty clear to me that the weave scene was heading into flirtatious territory, and I saw multiple opportunities to shut it down. I have accidentally initiated romances in other games, but usually it was immediately clear to me what had happened, and I just reloaded. There have also been times when I've read a dialogue option and thought it could be either romantic or platonic. Here I was hoping the option I chose had not initiated a romance, but had left open the option to start one later. Apparently it's one way or the other and nothing in between.

Personally I wouldn't be opposed to a tag indicating romance-related dialogue options, just to help people navigate them. I'm sure not everyone would want that, so ideally it would be toggle-able.

[Isengrym]

Originally posted by Taifun_Vash:

Gale, Lae zel are the loyal ones, Astarion and Shadowheart are the more open minded. With the later two you could have a relationship at the same time, while Gale doesn't like to share.
If you have two romantical involved characters in the same party they react to each other, if something happens to the other.
And rubberducky102760 had already answered that post a bit.

I'm wondering if there's an "interested but not serious" period prior to a breakup like the one rubberducky102760 describes, because I definitely don't want to break Gale's heart. I'm just not sure whom my male tiefling ranger/wizard should romance, and I feel like it's too early to commit. I'm glad there are poly options for those who want them, but I'm not really looking for poly on this playthrough, I just want more time to decide on a romantic partner for my character.

[Taifun_Vash]

Technically you character has a parasite in him and the clock is ticking, that some don't want to wait is rather common. Lae'zel was rather aggressiv in my run even thought I wasn't nice to her and told her there would never be anything between us. She came on strong right from the beginning and even after that told me how I would miss my chance of never having tasted her flesh or felt her lips.
I didn't look further if you can restart the relationships at some point, my male dwarf paladin is straight and has gone with Shadowheart for a partner.

[Remnant Melody]

Without methodically controlling the approval rating to keep certain things down a notch before the companions go full-ham on romance.. there isn't much you can do to slow it down some. Metagaming is boring too, and I can see you don't want spoilers. I'll try to help some.

1.) Certain romances lock in at different times.. or require certain triggers. But, for the most part, a choice is forced during Act 2 eventually before you move to Act 3. It'll be in a new area called Shadow-Cursed lands. If you're still in Act 1 (Grove, Goblins.. Underdark) then you're okay.

2.) You can't have a real poly-relationship. This only exists for your romance + Halsin only. So you can't say, have a poly with Gale and Shadowheart.

[Wokelander]

Generally speaking the poly options seems based more on thirsty dev fantasies more than anything else, considering that the characters whose cultural backgrounds are more poly friendly, don't do poly 😅

[Isengrym]

@Taifun_Vash: Fair point about the parasite, I wasn't taking that into account. It's not something I should forget.

I think part of my indecision is that I'm a lesbian IRL, but I've had this character idea of a male tiefling ranger/wizard since 3.5 and never got around to playing him. That combo seems more viable (though still not optimal, I know) in 5e, so I wanted to play him in BG3. I myself like Karlach and Shadowheart best, but I'm thinking I might rather save their romances for subsequent runs with female characters. So I'm looking around at Gale and Wyll (and maybe Halsin, whom I've never yet met) and am just kind of unsure. I don't dig Astarion. (I already staked him, actually. . . I'll probably spare him in another playthrough.)

@SassyKitKats: Thank you for the info! I agree about metagaming, and I'm not sure how I could even slow down approval gains while roleplaying a good character, other than by benching Gale, which would make combats harder. It's good to know I'm not immediately locked in, at least.

Thanks to everyone who replied! I guess I'll go ahead and start something and hope I don't end up feeling like a jerk.

[rubberducky102760]

Originally posted by Isengrym:

Originally posted by rubberducky102760:

My son ended up in the unintentional romance and had to break it off. I think there even might have been crying involved. He was a little mortified. I told him he needed to pay better attention to what was being said and his responses.

I'm sorry your son had that experience. It looked pretty clear to me that the weave scene was heading into flirtatious territory, and I saw multiple opportunities to shut it down. I have accidentally initiated romances in other games, but usually it was immediately clear to me what had happened, and I just reloaded. There have also been times when I've read a dialogue option and thought it could be either romantic or platonic. Here I was hoping the option I chose had not initiated a romance, but had left open the option to start one later. Apparently it's one way or the other and nothing in between.

Personally I wouldn't be opposed to a tag indicating romance-related dialogue options, just to help people navigate them. I'm sure not everyone would want that, so ideally it would be toggle-able.

I think he was embarrassed about it because we're both playing the game and ended up dating the same guy. It was a little comical. Partly because he felt like a heel for making Gale cry.
FWIW, I think the subtle lead-in dialogue is easy to spot, but maybe I'm a little more perceptive, or maybe he's just a little oblivious until the crying starts.

[Isengrym]

@ rubberducky102760: Yeah, I don't want to make Gale cry, either. And I can see how both of you romancing him could feel awkward. I hope it didn't bother him for too long.