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-Cutscene 2: Long/Partial Rest at Camp after recruiting Laezel and before interacting with Nettie at the grove for him to comment on ceremorphosis
-Cutscene 3: Long/Partial Rest after talking to Nettie for him to comment on stars
-Cutscene 4: Long/ Partial Rest immediately after getting the above scene will trigger the "bite" scene, seems to be the default scene after that point unless you are dark urge or you hit the goblin camp first and trigger the dream visitor instead
-Cutscene 5: Interact with the dead boar, only triggers if you don't learn he's a vampire
-Cutscene 6: 40 approval, You Must Have Let Him Bite You During Bite Night, just talk to him anytime anywhere and he'll proposition you for sex
-Cutscene 7: Following Cutscene 6 if you Long/Partial Rest, the first sexy times romance scene, changes slightly if you sided with goblins prior, can be overridden by other scenes like dark urge and dream visitor
-Cutscene 7 (Alt): 20 approval, proposition him for sex at the grove party, scene slightly changes depending on which side was killed and whether or not you know he's a vampire
-Cutscene 8: Not sure the specifications beyond sleeping with him once before, basically propositions another night of sex, slight changes if you do it at the party
-Cutscene 9: Long/Partial Rest after agreeing to the above, no actual sexy scene, just fade to black
-Cutscene 10: Long/Partial Rest at camp, Mirror scene, don't know the specifications, in one playthrough it was at approval 40 after sleeping with him and in another it was approval 16 without sleeping with him, pretty sure you need to know he's a vampire at least
-Cutscene 11: Long/Partial Rest at camp, Markings scene, usually fires pretty quickly some time after sleeping with him, had one character who didn't sleep with him pull it off... in Act 2
-Cutscene 12: Fire the cannon at the creche, leave him there to die, have somebody survive to avoid game over and then go to camp and have Withers revive him, talk to him afterwards for one of his funniest scenes
-Cutscene 13: Vampire confession without bite night, haven't pulled this off yet so I don't know specifications
In summary, rest a lot. Just partial rest to save on food.
Don't do that, dude. The romance stories are part of the game. Neil Newbon has rightly won accolades for his performance throughout the game and it's worth experiencing.
OP, Astarion likes decisions that choose a little chaos - you don't have to be evil to get his approval. My paladin of Devotion and my wizard have had his attention in my play-throughs and I didn't do anything particularly heinous. He doesn't like decisions that control him in any way, he doesn't like you being too nice but being completely heartless doesn't fly either. He likes praise. Talk to him semi regularly too even when he doesn't have an exclamation mark over his head. Also, "baa" at the Redcaps in the hag's swamp a couple times and let him kill the Gur, he likes that a lot.
For the record I can do that with every single character. I seek to study all variables in a game and this game is a buffet of variables. Not just romance ones either. I've replayed Act 1 with 10 other characters so far because I was waiting on Act 2 and 3 to get more patches, so I almost have the act to a science. I've started researching Act 2 since the bugs appear to have minimized though the game still gets confused by the sequence of events sometimes.
Btw another trick to avoid Astarion disapproval is to not "talk" like a good heroic person. Instead of telling Zevlor "Don't worry, I'll try to get Kagha to stop the ritual" just say "Cool. I'm gonna see the healer now. Bye." You can still vouch for the refugees anyway and you don't get disapproval from actually trying to help them.
Usually your approval with him will skyrocket once Act 2 rolls around if you're playing a "good" character, so it's just tricky keeping him happy in Act 1.