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It's rather hazy on the ultimate details of what counts as a wrong do-er and how you punish them.
Personally I have always felt a warrior order pledged to a deity is sufficient, of any alignment. They have to have a code of some sort, and should probably be lawful (unwilling to break their code) at least in some respects, but all in all it should have been much more open. I don't like it in Bg3 because dm has scripted garbage tied to the class that I simply do not agree with, but moving it away from the holy knights of good is a step in the right direction for RP. Still not there yet, but slowly...
In DND proper, you decide the type and nature of your oath. Minthara swore an oath of vengeance against the absolute; Not the villainous or unrighteous or so on, just the cultists who enslaved her.
he, consistently, lets evil go free because his belief is people can improve, which is the antithesis of a vengeance paladin. so no, paladin is not batman.
shorthand though: paladins in 5e are not locked to lawful good, they just need to follow their oaths, and she specifically does canonically because she is on a vengeance binge against the absolute.
In All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder which is a Frank Miller classic Batman burns some criminals alive. Minthara is very tame compared to Batman. She only was going to kill the grove while being mind controlled and when she is free of mind control she is less bloodthirsty than Astarion or Karlach. The worst thing she does after being free of mind control was make that awful "it was a beautiful webbing" joke.
if you used her to make the choice hers would break too, but you didn't, did you?
yes or no?
if no: thats why.
that wasn't being vague, you just think that your actions speak for her, but you never once state you used her to make the same choices you make.
so again: you broke your oath because YOU broke it.
She didnt make the choice, you did. A soldier following orders isnt to blame for the choices the brass made.