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You can't respec the dog into a cat though.
Once you get the NPC Withers in your camp though you can respec them into whatever you want and just deal with the cognitive dissonance when Wyll's warlock patron comes to visit her little bard or sorcerer or Mystra and Elminster talk about the master of the Weave, barbarian Gale who can't cast a single spell and so on.
But do whatever you like.
If you play Astarion and choose to only try to romance female characters, then yes, he is straight.
He has a set history that we can't control, such as him being forced as a Vampire Spawn to seduce anyone Cazador told him to and lure them to Cazador's lair.
Basically, whenever you play as any of the origin characters then you can play them however you want to.
Really interested in astarion ever since I saw the high rollers DnD when the BG VA cast played, Neil was really funny
You cannot change your background or appearance as an Origin character (Exception Dark Urge).
What you will miss out on is dialogue choices that are specific to a class/sub class.
For instance if you change Gale from a Mage to a Ranger, then in some conversations that may have specific [Mage] choices, they will simply not appear, but you will get [Ranger] choices when applicable.
If you want your character to have a particular sex preference, then just play him as one and avoid romance dialogues that suit you. That's up to you, there are no respec options for that.
No, all of the companions are Playersexual. It doesn't matter what gender you choose or don't choose as a Custom/Dark Urge, you will have the option to romance any of them.
"Playersexual" NPCs have been around in cRPGs for almost 20 years, it's a pretty established trope at this point. Gamers wanted to romance any potential romance as any gender, then started losing their minds when NPCs allowed them to. The duality of man.