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Unfortunately the character customiser is off limits for Origin characters... unless you install a mod to allow it (as I did), or if you want an FtM companion there's genital swap mods for all the women bar Minratha on Nexus Mods.
In terms of who would be the best of the companions to have been trans Karlach is pretty low on the list due to falling into a couple of stereotypes and being too dang obvious (oh, you're telling me that the big broad shouldered woman was AMAB?). Personally I put Shadowheart and Gale at the top of the list, partially due to them being religious (which isn't exclusionary with being trans), Shadowheart being the most feminine of the women, and Gale's gender identity being implicitly accepted by his ex.
You can argue if any of them should have been trans (stats argue it's unlikely, but stats also argue that we wouldn't have three white characters among the origins, so I find that uncompelling), but those are the two I'd have picked. The reason why nobody is is probably, as was buried in the thread I tried to start on this subject, is because the developers are probably overwhelming cis and it didn't occur to them.
As to Karlach not acting like she's from a medieval setting, the Realms aren't medieval. They're bare renaissance despite having mostly equivalent technology, it's just not as well explored as it is in settings like Eberron.
Astarion: I have been turned into a vampire against my will.
Gale: I could blow up the continent at any moment.
Karlach: I say "♥♥♥♥" a lot
Seriously?
Why should she have been trans?
She is not a male, wanting to be a female, nor a Female wanting the opposite.
She is a 'tomboy' hardened warrior, whom had been used and abused by a fallen Angel.
What does any of that have to do with being or wanting to be trans?
I'd say pretty close because there have been people necro'ing threads from 2020. Imagine.
A character should be trans because the writers felt like making a character trans or because they had a story they wanted to tell involving a trans character. Same for making a character a cis female or male.
I am not sure if you are being sarcastic or not, but just in case thats what you really think, you are simply factually wrong. It actually at first kinda hated most companions cause they were kinda of a-holes, like astarion constantly disapproving of anything thats not selfish at first and is always sassier than sas. Yet they grow on you, like hemorrhoids and now I like them.
That aside, astarion deals with his trauma by being how he is, gale can blow up the continent and he deals with it in his own way and less obnoxious way. Karlach don't just say Fk a lot, she been betrayed as a kid and sold into demon army with her heart being replaced by infernal engine that burns so hot that it forces her to be an incel (sort of). She can't touch anyone, frustrated, and then once she gets a little reprieve, she is told it's temp and she got to go back to hell or die. If I had to deal with that, I would say FK even more than I do already and all I got to deal with now are bills.
That is indeed why people have bucket lists when they know they're likely going to die in the next year or so. (i.e terminal illnesses, which is basically Karlach's Infernal Engine if she doesn't return to Avernus)
It is great and it shows that it can be done tastefully. I know this might be out of the left field but this right here is way better than what show runners and film makers been doing, where they take white character, make them black, pat themselves on the back, then curse at fans for being "racist" just because they question why half the Percy Jacksons show cast been race swapped.
Where I am getting with that is this type of thing been going on for a while and became an infection. It's where group of people cares so much for their ideology that they went a bit too far and now garnered a group of people that will hate anything that even vaguely hints at a connection to that ideology.
While to me this game shows that you can write different and diverse characters without sniffing your own farts or basing it all around the "message". I actually did not like a lot of characters at the start of the game, they all felt very hostile, uppity, or rude at first, so when I found Karlach and Wyll and she was just nice right away, I was kinda relieved. Of course the rest of the cast then became very relatable and likable as well but it just goes to show that they are not cardboard cut outs like many of the characters in media are, they are all different people with different personalities.