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No, it all happens in act 3 with astarion anyway. I romanced lae'zel in act 1 and she was hardly over the middle of the approval track so it really has nothing to do with romance.
See that's the thing, I didn't make him do anything, my PC just asked him to. And at the camp, I was sympathetic about it. It feels like more of a hitch in the relationship to move on and grow from than something you call it quits over.
If it is a cut off, I feel like some nuance is lost.
The entire companion system needs to be reworked. I'm of mind to believe it was so broken the devs just said "Let all companions just be open for business at all time unless you do very specific things" as a bandaid fix to launch the game.
I love the game but I'm sorry: The companions are the weakest part of the game by a country mile. The interactions are completely broken.
Yep, he dumped you, and good for him. He specifically said he didn't want to do it and why and you had him do it anyway. You decided to offer him up for a potion from a crazy Drow. It's about being used, which goes back to Cazador , it's about him learning to say no and having it accepted, which goes back to his abuse/enslavement, and since your character doesn't care what he wants, or lacks any understanding of why, then he's better off just being allies.
Longer answer: There is a way to get both the potion and keep the romance. You have to pick very specific dialogue options, so if you're willing to save scum, have at it. Personally I find it rather emotionally manipulative sounding if you go this route though.
I'm pretty sure the dialogue choices I made were pretty clear that I cared what he wants, with how I defended astarion from the drow and made it clear that I was asking him to do it, not telling. In no way was the dialogue ordering him to do something, and at every point in the game up until then I had empowered him to be his own person.
this is starting to sound like an r/amitheasshole post at this point, so I'll just end with saying that the intentions I got from the presented dialogue choices felt at odds with their consequence, is all I'm saying.
Astarion was pretty clear in my playthrough that he didn't want anything to do with that Drow. By voice, words, and body language, I could tell it would be best if I defended him against this Drow pervert that isn't taking no for an answer. Like, she's making demands of me to force my romantic partner to suck her blood? gross. no way.
And, again, as I've said already, the dialogue options allow you to effectively go "The potion would be nice, but it's up to you," directly after defending him from the drow, upon which he makes the decision to do it. There's no forcing going on.
I did leave it up to him and he never agreed to it. Is it possible it's a bug with the latest hotfix or patch?
I believe there's two similar but different options. One is something along the lines of "I'm not going to force you" and the other is "It's up to you, but the potion would be useful" or something. Ultimately in both cases, he was never ordered to do anything and was given the chance to say no. Which is why I think his reaction, combined with how I've treated him in the past, feels a bit extreme.