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You can use charisma skills to talk out of it, bribe/pay a fine, or risk getting to jail if the place has one.
Traders will charge you more I noticed when their attitude of you decreases.
I suspect that it has little to do with how they want to their character to seem to the story and more about the game mechanics. When it comes to games, even those with a focus on role-playing, people still see the game mechanics and will choose to play against the mechanics when they wish.
You have three choices: Let players take everything, give people a challenge to take stuff, or nail everything down. They're going to try to take stuff either way.
Ultima IV had a "don't ever steal" mechanic that people hated even though the whole point was to be the epitome of virtue. In later games, it became "don't get caught stealing, even by party members", and people accepted that. It typically wasn't easy to steal, but at least, it also wasn't some all-powerful, omniscient, invisible judge that took away progress as it was in U4.
The creator of the Ultima series discovered something when they took his series and turned it into an MMO. In the single player series, players could do anything they wanted with anything that wasn't nailed down, and the development tried the same with the MMO. The creator was formerly under the mistaken impression that players were playing the game as the story intended. In an open letter to fans, he stated he realized that the first thing players will do when given complete freedom is to try to spell **** on the ground. It was a dumb challenge, but a challenge that was present all the same. Expecting players to simply play the story was unrealistic.
I would like to be magical too
To add to this, I agree. I don't always inject myself or my moral compass into games or real D&D games. I don't steal in real life, it goes against what I personally believe. However, in BG3 I'm a Gloomstalker/Assassin, and an opportunist in many senses. Sure a thief subclass would make more sense, but in D&D that sort of justification of him being an assassin instead isn't really a far reach.