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But you can play it with drop-in/drop-out. Last patch allows the host to store player characters, so people can come and go as they please with their custom character (IF they started the game with you). If they want to join later, then they have to take a Larian character.
Enabling people to join with custom characters part way through would be tricker. XP is not an issue, it could just be set to whatever it is for the main character, but items. Do you allow people to import characters with their own equipment? Then you've got to add character export/import.
Its a decent idea, would just require some extra work. Maybe with the definitive edition whenever that comes out...
get some life experience
This appears to be an organization issue.
you can also have multiple saves, one for your friends and one for yourself.
Also, I don't get people who play with drop-ins games like this. It's not TF2 or another multiplayer PvP shooter where you couldn't care less who to play with. Treat it like a tabletop game - after you've invited someone to play, you won't give their place to anybody else.