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For me though, it's closer to the latter. If it's in the game, able to be done, and allows me to obtain a result i want? It's fair game. I did try to just let things happen for a while, but more often than not failing a skill check just throws you into a fight, depletes your resources and just sets you up for pain later on.
All of it is valid, so just play how you want.
F8 when things don't go your way
As You say. Its Singleplayer. You decide how to play.
But I do think that Larian Should Add an Ironman Mode for Challenge Playthroughs.
The intended way of playing the game is to play it without worrying about what was intended.
If you're thinking especially about loading and saving. They are there, which means they're intended to be used. How you use them, is up to you.
Some fails lead to combat and you can almost always find some notes and items on the corpses and surrounding area to figure out what you missed in dialogue. Sometimes failing skill checks in dialogue leads to surprising new results that you would never see if you kept reloading for success. I would say do whatever you want, but at least see what happens when you fail and don't automatically spam F8.
- this is because Larian doesn't understand what roleplaying is. You should get limited options, but you also always should have a way to finish some tasks, even if your employers is disatisfied by the result. It should impact reputation/renown/... in the world and therefore the trust people have in you.
- in a RPG, if you see the whole content in one playrhough, either you're playing a Diablo-like, either you're playing a very badly designed RPG.
Say you have a persuasion check against an NPC, and you clear it, now you've talked him down and he leaves you alone. But if you failed you might have gotten a fight instead, and maybe he had good loot, or it opens up something further down the line now that he's dead?
Or you succeed in unlocking a door. Huzzah, I gained entrance! But now you don't have to find an alternate route, maybe missing fights and treasure.
You won't be able to see everything in this game from one play through, you are going to miss a lot no matter what you do. My rule of thumb is this:
Did this fail/decision lower the amount of fun I have in this game?
No - Perfect, I'll just see what happens.
Yes - I load a save game and try again.
I've only done that from two choices so far, and I'm not telling you which ones due to spoilers. But they would have made the game less fun for me, and in the end that's what this is. A game, something you (hopefully) do because it's fun. So play it the way you feel give you the most enjoyment ^_^