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FANTASTIC BRO TY
Then I saw these posts and realized the key is in the not so good wording of the statue. "The dark king must fall in two moves" (not one like a chess player would actually do lol). I know this is a puzzle, but if the wording was "The dark king must fall in exactly two moves" I think is would be less misleading and we wouldn't assume the rook is bugged.
It would help if the statue would say something to that effect rather than just go, "The black king still stands" as if that's the problem with that move.