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2 - Summer Sun update changed the way file system saves - so it means we have to log into our characters in single player mode and sleep, before we can use them in multiplayer mode.
3 - when in multiplayer mode, we have to pick a character, then we can choose from three tabs - Host Game or Open Games or LAN / IP Connect. Just click on the tab you want to use.
Sounds like you need to pick the tab - Open Games
then you can see friends games or public games
when you are in the Open Games tab, you should be able to see your friends island if there game status is Online for Steam or connect with a steam invite.
If you have played together in the past, then clearly you know what to do.
It would be a steam issue, or internet connection.
All I can advise in that case is to keep trying. If it worked before, then it will work again.
But like I said, your friend or you can not be "offline" as the status in your steam account. Your steam account status needs to be 'online' for others to join your multiplayer games.
Maybe test and see if your friend can join your island?
If nothing is working - I suggest asking in the official discord.