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SlipSlot Sep 20, 2012 @ 4:56pm
Postal 2 Achievements!
Now Postal 2 has released on Steam, RWS are working on bringing achievements to the game, what achievements would you like to see added?

* They See Me Rollin' - Kick your first severed head! [SlipSlot]
* Baby come back! - Kill a fleeing NPC by throwing a sledgehammer [SlipSlot]
* Why Can't I Stop It!? - Pee while jump-kicking through a window [Bear with me]
* Just Urine & Love! - Complete the campaign with no violence [Normal people scare me]
* Lazy Dude - Find a hidden shortcut [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH & SlipSlot]
* Why Cure It? - Make 50 people vomit as a result of your infection [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH]
* Homemade Silencer - Use 100 cats as silencers [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH & SlipSlot]
* You Freakin' Pinko - Get your petition rejected 25 times [Simply • Shepard The Maid]
* Now The Flowers Will Grow - ♥♥♥♥ 500 gallons of urine [Simply • Shepard The Maid]
* Excessive Force - Taze 10 innocent bystanders while wearing a police uniform [misz]
* I Am Legend - Kill 5 enemies at once by commiting suicide [misz]
* Stars and Stripes Forever - Save the Marching Band [Fps Sasha]
* Stop! HAMMERTIME! - Kill 25 hostiles with a sledgehammer to the face [Skelosk]
* SUPRISE! - Decapitate a vomiting NPC [Skelosk]
* Who is The Bigger D!ck? - Kill Krotchy [prawdziwy 666]
* I Love All Living Things, But That Guy Was A D!ck - Kill Bin Laden [[KZU] Faldarn]
* Born Survivor - Force feed yourself your own urine [Dreamcypher]
* Dude's Best Friend - Get 50 kills using your dog [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH & SlipSlot]
* PyroDude - Get 100 kills using fire [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH]
* Number One Fan - Kill all RWS employees [Golem]
* Fear & Loathing - Smoke 10 pipes & 20 tins of catnip in a single walkthrough [Golem]
* Useless Exploding Props - Destroy 25 cars [Dridje]
* Peep Show - Go the whole game with your pants unzipped [[HZ]Pvt. Flutterdash]
* Gotta Catch 'Em All! - Collect all items shown on the title screen [Anal Suffering Pro]
* Smooth Criminal - Escape the jail without being spotted [Cirno]
* Can I Have My Head Back, Please? - Kick a head through a window [SlipSlot & Cirno]
* Failed physical? - Eat 30 donuts while in uniform [Cirno]
* Sunday School - Whip out your shlong during confession [Cirno]
* Beatin' the Meat - Survive the Meat Factory level without dying [Dat Über Dood <TI3]
* Quit ♥♥♥♥in' Around - Urinate into a toilet [Dat Über Dood <TI3]
* Puke Nukem - Make a Terrorist puke [Dat Über Dood <TI3]
* True Postal Service - Complete the game on the Hardest Difficulty [Dat Über Dood <TI3]
* In Other News... - Read the newspaper every day [Violique.]
* The Sweet Spot - Rob the house across from your home every morning [Violique.]
* Thrill of The Chase - Upon receiving max wanted level, hide until it's gone [Violique.]
* You Gotta Be ♥♥♥♥ing Kidding Me - Use cheats [8onk!]
* ♥♥♥♥! - Have Postal III in your Steam library [SlipSlot]
* Dogsignatory - Ask Champ to sign your petition [Grλfi]
* ♥♥♥♥ Da Police - Escape from the bank using a hidden tunnel [Grλfi]
* I Did It All For The ♥♥♥♥♥ - Collect 50 cats at any one time [The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!]
* Running With Scissors - Run wile holding a scissors [fido]
* Skewed Priorities - Attempt to buy something while wanted by the police [☭iNZⒶNE☭]
* It's All About The Head - Behead ten zombies without killing them [☭iNZⒶNE☭]
* Reading The Last Page First - Kill Krotchy before stealing the toy [☭iNZⒶNE☭]
* STFU - Kill someone who just greeted you [SlipSlot & DNR3]
* Here, Piggy Piggy - Lead a cop into a pool of petrol with a doughnut then set him ablaze [SlipSlot & The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!]
* Shlongs and Bongs - Smoke a Health Pipe while your privates are out [Dilbert]
* Sweet Irony - Burn a Book Protester, kill a Cop with a Baton and blow up a Taliban [Super Ivan Trollben Cool]
* Employee of the Month - Go inside every door marked "Emplyees only" [Super Ivan Trollben Cool]

List now complete, please visit the following link to suggest more achievement ideas or read the updated list:
Last edited by SlipSlot; Dec 19, 2013 @ 5:52am
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Showing 1-15 of 154 comments
Obamov Sep 20, 2012 @ 5:31pm 
They See Me Rollin' - Kick 1000 severed heads >:D. Idk, I just think achievements should be challenging. Postal Noob: 1000 kills. Postal Amateur: 10,000 kills. Postal Man: 100,000 kills. Postal Dude: 1,000,000 kills. ..i'll stop there, I could go on for days with this...
Can'tStumpTrump Sep 20, 2012 @ 5:33pm 
"Why can't I stop it!?" - Pee while jump-kicking through a builing's window.
Obamov Sep 20, 2012 @ 5:34pm 
^ 50 times. Lol.
Obamov Sep 20, 2012 @ 5:35pm 
The most obvious achievement would probably be: "Complete the Single-Player Campaign". :].
SlipSlot Sep 20, 2012 @ 7:09pm 
I'm sure RWS will provide us with your bog-standard achievements if they find a way of adding them. This is for fun, crazy and wacky ideas for stand alone achievements!

Bear With Me's idea is exactly the sort of thing I was looking for!
Last edited by SlipSlot; Sep 20, 2012 @ 7:11pm
CyanideBlizzard Sep 20, 2012 @ 9:35pm 
I'm surprised no one has thought up a name of one that involves starting someone on fire, and then uninating on them to put it out.
Obamov Sep 21, 2012 @ 4:05am 
SlipSlot Sep 21, 2012 @ 4:13am 
Well why don't you give it a go Cyanide?
Applejacks1991 Sep 21, 2012 @ 4:18am 
I thought of a challenging achievement "Liberman would be proud"-Beat Postal 2 without killing anyone
"♥♥♥♥ and love" - Complete the Single-Player Campaign without violence.
SlipSlot Sep 21, 2012 @ 4:52am 
I like both of those.. But I think I'll have to go with NPSM's suggestion. Could we call it Just Urine and Love?
SWAT.of.AH Sep 21, 2012 @ 8:03am 
Here are some of my ideas (already posted on Postal III forum,but here's the better place to do )

Special signers : Get the petition signed by Krotchy and or Gary Coleman
Second amendment abuse-Have 1000 kills with m4,shotgun,etc.
Wee-Urinate 1000 litres (gallons ,whatever).
That's mine black coat weiro's-Steal the money for poor people from the Church.
♥♥♥♥ I have to escape again -Get arrested.
Did anyone slaughtered a goat in here?-Don't PAY for the milk :D
Nice one Sherlock-Unlock/find/discover the secret entrace(from milk store,that underground tunnel).
Is this violent?-Burn all "Angry parents" from RWS headquarters.
Personal Jesus-Finish the game with no casualties.
Good dog: make champ return to you the heads of decapitated corpses :D:D
Proper corpse managment:Kill Gary Coleman,decapitate him,burn him,urinate on him.
No ♥♥♥♥: Kill Krotchy and steal his toy without paying.
Why cure it?- make 500 people vomit as a result of your ghorneea ilness.
Pro soccer player- pass the head from you to an NPC(sometimes works)
Pyromaniac-Get 1000 kills using only fire weapons
You're sick- finish the game on insanity difficulty.
Taliban Lover- Kill 500 talibans
Am I supposed to listen to that ♥♥♥♥♥'s instructions?- play more than 3 hours without making any job
Good person..or not- disarm any violent npc by stunning it ....but somehow gasoline poured on it,should I waste my gasoline? Hell no (do this 100 times).

Animal abuse- Urinate on 10 animals

Why buy a silencer if i have cats? - use 100 cats as silencers

Sissy- Enable Cheats

Hope they're good.
Take a look over postal III achievements,some of them fit ( let pedestrians crawl to death,torture ,etc)

Consider adding achievements for the dlc too?
Boomerang Postal...or machete Postal- use your machete to eviscerate 5 people in one try
SledgeHammer fan- Not call of duty ♥♥♥♥♥, use sledgehammer to kill 100 people.
Stickyhammer- shove the hammer on cow''s ♥♥♥.
Last edited by SWAT.of.AH; Sep 21, 2012 @ 8:14am
Chrissyx Sep 21, 2012 @ 9:51am 
Akella'd - Die from a crack pipe detoxification
SlipSlot Sep 21, 2012 @ 11:47am 
Thanks Swat! I picked my 3 favourites from your list. Hope you don't mind the slight changes.. Keep em coming people!
Last edited by SlipSlot; Sep 21, 2012 @ 11:48am
You Freaking Pinko - Get your petition rejected 25 times.
The Flowers Will Grow - ♥♥♥♥ 500 gallons of ♥♥♥♥.
Book The Kid With The Keyboard - Get arrested 10 times .
Last edited by Leave Vitamin C To Me; Sep 21, 2012 @ 12:21pm
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