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SlipSlot Sep 20, 2012 @ 4:56pm
Postal 2 Achievements!
Now Postal 2 has released on Steam, RWS are working on bringing achievements to the game, what achievements would you like to see added?

* They See Me Rollin' - Kick your first severed head! [SlipSlot]
* Baby come back! - Kill a fleeing NPC by throwing a sledgehammer [SlipSlot]
* Why Can't I Stop It!? - Pee while jump-kicking through a window [Bear with me]
* Just Urine & Love! - Complete the campaign with no violence [Normal people scare me]
* Lazy Dude - Find a hidden shortcut [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH & SlipSlot]
* Why Cure It? - Make 50 people vomit as a result of your infection [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH]
* Homemade Silencer - Use 100 cats as silencers [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH & SlipSlot]
* You Freakin' Pinko - Get your petition rejected 25 times [Simply • Shepard The Maid]
* Now The Flowers Will Grow - ♥♥♥♥ 500 gallons of urine [Simply • Shepard The Maid]
* Excessive Force - Taze 10 innocent bystanders while wearing a police uniform [misz]
* I Am Legend - Kill 5 enemies at once by commiting suicide [misz]
* Stars and Stripes Forever - Save the Marching Band [Fps Sasha]
* Stop! HAMMERTIME! - Kill 25 hostiles with a sledgehammer to the face [Skelosk]
* SUPRISE! - Decapitate a vomiting NPC [Skelosk]
* Who is The Bigger D!ck? - Kill Krotchy [prawdziwy 666]
* I Love All Living Things, But That Guy Was A D!ck - Kill Bin Laden [[KZU] Faldarn]
* Born Survivor - Force feed yourself your own urine [Dreamcypher]
* Dude's Best Friend - Get 50 kills using your dog [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH & SlipSlot]
* PyroDude - Get 100 kills using fire [ڴ.щ.α.ϯ.of.AH]
* Number One Fan - Kill all RWS employees [Golem]
* Fear & Loathing - Smoke 10 pipes & 20 tins of catnip in a single walkthrough [Golem]
* Useless Exploding Props - Destroy 25 cars [Dridje]
* Peep Show - Go the whole game with your pants unzipped [[HZ]Pvt. Flutterdash]
* Gotta Catch 'Em All! - Collect all items shown on the title screen [Anal Suffering Pro]
* Smooth Criminal - Escape the jail without being spotted [Cirno]
* Can I Have My Head Back, Please? - Kick a head through a window [SlipSlot & Cirno]
* Failed physical? - Eat 30 donuts while in uniform [Cirno]
* Sunday School - Whip out your shlong during confession [Cirno]
* Beatin' the Meat - Survive the Meat Factory level without dying [Dat Über Dood <TI3]
* Quit ♥♥♥♥in' Around - Urinate into a toilet [Dat Über Dood <TI3]
* Puke Nukem - Make a Terrorist puke [Dat Über Dood <TI3]
* True Postal Service - Complete the game on the Hardest Difficulty [Dat Über Dood <TI3]
* In Other News... - Read the newspaper every day [Violique.]
* The Sweet Spot - Rob the house across from your home every morning [Violique.]
* Thrill of The Chase - Upon receiving max wanted level, hide until it's gone [Violique.]
* You Gotta Be ♥♥♥♥ing Kidding Me - Use cheats [8onk!]
* ♥♥♥♥! - Have Postal III in your Steam library [SlipSlot]
* Dogsignatory - Ask Champ to sign your petition [Grλfi]
* ♥♥♥♥ Da Police - Escape from the bank using a hidden tunnel [Grλfi]
* I Did It All For The ♥♥♥♥♥ - Collect 50 cats at any one time [The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!]
* Running With Scissors - Run wile holding a scissors [fido]
* Skewed Priorities - Attempt to buy something while wanted by the police [☭iNZⒶNE☭]
* It's All About The Head - Behead ten zombies without killing them [☭iNZⒶNE☭]
* Reading The Last Page First - Kill Krotchy before stealing the toy [☭iNZⒶNE☭]
* STFU - Kill someone who just greeted you [SlipSlot & DNR3]
* Here, Piggy Piggy - Lead a cop into a pool of petrol with a doughnut then set him ablaze [SlipSlot & The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!]
* Shlongs and Bongs - Smoke a Health Pipe while your privates are out [Dilbert]
* Sweet Irony - Burn a Book Protester, kill a Cop with a Baton and blow up a Taliban [Super Ivan Trollben Cool]
* Employee of the Month - Go inside every door marked "Emplyees only" [Super Ivan Trollben Cool]

List now complete, please visit the following link to suggest more achievement ideas or read the updated list:
Last edited by SlipSlot; Dec 19, 2013 @ 5:52am
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Showing 1-15 of 153 comments
Obamov Sep 20, 2012 @ 5:31pm 
They See Me Rollin' - Kick 1000 severed heads >:D. Idk, I just think achievements should be challenging. Postal Noob: 1000 kills. Postal Amateur: 10,000 kills. Postal Man: 100,000 kills. Postal Dude: 1,000,000 kills. ..i'll stop there, I could go on for days with this...
Delorean DMC-12 Sep 20, 2012 @ 5:33pm 
"Why can't I stop it!?" - Pee while jump-kicking through a builing's window.
Obamov Sep 20, 2012 @ 5:34pm 
^ 50 times. Lol.
Obamov Sep 20, 2012 @ 5:35pm 
The most obvious achievement would probably be: "Complete the Single-Player Campaign". :].
SlipSlot Sep 20, 2012 @ 7:09pm 
I'm sure RWS will provide us with your bog-standard achievements if they find a way of adding them. This is for fun, crazy and wacky ideas for stand alone achievements!

Bear With Me's idea is exactly the sort of thing I was looking for!
Last edited by SlipSlot; Sep 20, 2012 @ 7:11pm
CyanideBlizzard Sep 20, 2012 @ 9:35pm 
I'm surprised no one has thought up a name of one that involves starting someone on fire, and then uninating on them to put it out.
Obamov Sep 21, 2012 @ 4:05am 
SlipSlot Sep 21, 2012 @ 4:13am 
Well why don't you give it a go Cyanide?
Applejacks1991 Sep 21, 2012 @ 4:18am 
I thought of a challenging achievement "Liberman would be proud"-Beat Postal 2 without killing anyone
♥♥♥♥♥♥and love" - Complete the Single-Player Campaign without violence.
SlipSlot Sep 21, 2012 @ 4:52am 
I like both of those.. But I think I'll have to go with NPSM's suggestion. Could we call it Just Urine and Love?
Here are some of my ideas (already posted on Postal III forum,but here's the better place to do )

Special signers : Get the petition signed by Krotchy and or Gary Coleman
Second amendment abuse-Have 1000 kills with m4,shotgun,etc.
Wee-Urinate 1000 litres (gallons ,whatever).
That's mine black coat weiro's-Steal the money for poor people from the Church.
♥♥♥♥ I have to escape again -Get arrested.
Did anyone slaughtered a goat in here?-Don't PAY for the milk :D
Nice one Sherlock-Unlock/find/discover the secret entrace(from milk store,that underground tunnel).
Is this violent?-Burn all "Angry parents" from RWS headquarters.
Personal Jesus-Finish the game with no casualties.
Good dog: make champ return to you the heads of decapitated corpses :D:D
Proper corpse managment:Kill Gary Coleman,decapitate him,burn him,urinate on him.
No ♥♥♥♥: Kill Krotchy and steal his toy without paying.
Why cure it?- make 500 people vomit as a result of your ghorneea ilness.
Pro soccer player- pass the head from you to an NPC(sometimes works)
Pyromaniac-Get 1000 kills using only fire weapons
You're sick- finish the game on insanity difficulty.
Taliban Lover- Kill 500 talibans
Am I supposed to listen to that ♥♥♥♥♥'s instructions?- play more than 3 hours without making any job
Good person..or not- disarm any violent npc by stunning it ....but somehow gasoline poured on it,should I waste my gasoline? Hell no (do this 100 times).

Animal abuse- Urinate on 10 animals

Why buy a silencer if i have cats? - use 100 cats as silencers

Sissy- Enable Cheats

Hope they're good.
Take a look over postal III achievements,some of them fit ( let pedestrians crawl to death,torture ,etc)

Consider adding achievements for the dlc too?
Boomerang Postal...or machete Postal- use your machete to eviscerate 5 people in one try
SledgeHammer fan- Not call of duty ♥♥♥♥♥, use sledgehammer to kill 100 people.
Stickyhammer- shove the hammer on cow''s♥♥♥♥♥
Last edited by xXx_ReptilianOverlord69_xXx; Sep 21, 2012 @ 8:14am
Chrissyx Sep 21, 2012 @ 9:51am 
Akella'd - Die from a crack pipe detoxification
SlipSlot Sep 21, 2012 @ 11:47am 
Thanks Swat! I picked my 3 favourites from your list. Hope you don't mind the slight changes.. Keep em coming people!
Last edited by SlipSlot; Sep 21, 2012 @ 11:48am
Gappy Sep 21, 2012 @ 12:21pm 
You Freaking Pinko - Get your petition rejected 25 times.
The Flowers Will Grow -♥♥♥♥♥♥500 gallons of♥♥♥♥♥♥
Book The Kid With The Keyboard - Get arrested 10 times .
Last edited by Gappy; Sep 21, 2012 @ 12:21pm
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