Global Gameplay Stats

SPACE ASTEROID SHOOTER

Global Achievements
 
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players
Total achievements: 316
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92.6%

Tutorial Done!

86.5%

A long time ago

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in a galaxy far, far away...

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the evil empire of the asteroids

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send out their best soldiers

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to find one man.

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That man is me. Captain Curtain...

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and this is my story.

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A story full of despair, love and empty space.

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A story so full of story that even the most uninterested once

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will have problems to not listen to it.

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39.8%

A story that will take your children and grandchildren

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and will make them a warm and healthy breakfast

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with eggs

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and bacon

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and god damn pancakes! I know they love pancakes!

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A story that will steal your girlfriend and take her out for dinner.

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That will make your grandma dance tango on the table.

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And last but not least that will blow you...

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...r mind like no one else ever did.

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*making a disturbing sound of cleaning the throat

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30.7%

So one day I have been on the way to P32X4D

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(that's the name of one of those designer planets

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that they used to create near my galaxy...

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basically like a normal planet but just a bit more colorful...

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like when you pee in the snow and you realize that...

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well I guess you got the point here.)

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Where was I.... Oh yeah... P32X4D was one of those...

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A nice place, with chicks everywhere and party all night long...

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and damn, the nights there last for 3 and a half years...

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so you have plenty of time to go crazy before...

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you have to go back to work on freaking Monday.

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Basically what I am saying is, it was the best

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7 year long party weekend I ever had.

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And everything started as I went to a proton bar...

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just to get some positive vibes.

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There was a dude. He looked me in the face and said:

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Arrrrgsdh dsadawehasj sad sasdjsda sdsawd!

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My implemented toogle-translator-micro-chip translated:

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Yuu luuk like sumeone whu needs sum fun.

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He continued to tell me about that party planet and told me

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that I could go with him to that awesome place...

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if I would just do him 1 little favor. Just 1 little favor.

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(The translator chip does actually simulate the accent as well.)

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I really wasn't the party guy and just came out of a very

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unsatisfying relationship with Squirman.

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(Half squirrel half human )

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Anyhow he kept talking and seemingly ignored whatever I said

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In the end, I was willing to do him one little favor...

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just to make him shut up.

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The favor turned out to be not such a big deal.

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All I had to do was to walk into an old house

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take a flower that was placed conveniently

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in the middle of the room

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Afterwards, we had the already mentioned party weekend.

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and deliver the flower to the guy.

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After having a hangover on Monday night...

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which of course also lasted for 3 and a half years

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I decided...

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to finally leave the party planned and become...

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a respectable human being.

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Most of us got extinct because of the intergalactic flue

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the last survivors escaped to other galaxies...

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sadly the spaceship that they used to escape

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Probably I am the last human that lives in this galaxy.

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was hit by an asteroid shower and got totally demolished.

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Basically, everyone died.

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I, on the other hand, was unable to find my underwear

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24.5%

which resulted in me being late, like always.

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Therefore the spaceship left without me

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Which now results in me being the only human being alive.

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Anyhow, so I decided to leave the party planet...

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on my way through the departure gate, a policeman stopped me.

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You... Stop you... he said.

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I stopped.

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You... Come with me you... he said.

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Instead of wings, he seemed to have something like...

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He was a huge firefly-like being.

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laser beams.

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He seemed serious...

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I looked at his face...

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Then I looked at his laser-beam-wings

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Those seemed dangerous and kept pulsating,

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I then looked back at his face...

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He no seemed angry about my hesitation.

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His laser beam wings smoothly changed into a dangerous red color.

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I opened my mouth, then closed it again and started

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to follow him without saying anything.

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He guided me through many dark corridors

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and finally stopped at the last door...

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in the very darkest of all corners.

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We entered the room and I was asked to sit down on a small chair.

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The room was built out of metal and was barely big enough

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for the two of us to fit in.

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Inside of the room was the small chair that I was supposed

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She was a woman of the public and a supporter of the poor.

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A great flower who even though she was a queen

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Like the human race you. Like the race that got extinct you.

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"Something terrible has happened. The queen of P32X4D was stolen you."

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the huge police-man-ish creature sat on.

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You seem to be a human, you...

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So, now you... what is your deal you?, he said.

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The queen was loved by everyone.

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lived in a small house, like she was poor.

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And yes, she was actually a flower.

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Even though she lived in a small house she had a very advanced

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security system.

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All the intelligent living beings in the whole galaxy

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at least 60% water.

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It was designed like this to make sure that the queen,

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that entered the house and was not made out of

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It basically froze everything

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I replied

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WILL YOU HELP US... YOU?

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and kind of took a flower with him.

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He now looked deeply into my eyes and said

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The police-bug has been watching me while he told me all of this.

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But who would have known that a simple flower

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which would have been able to enter the house of the queen,

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my head started hurting.

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While I was listening to what happened

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Well before they got extinct I mean.

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which means that the humans have been the only race

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have been made out of a maximum of 40% water,

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which again was a flower, got enough water to live.

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I knew a certain human who did recently enter a small house

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and I was shooting through a whole system of pipes

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A small hole did open up in the seeling

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Suddenly the police-bug jumped off his chair...

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(Yes that was an active decision and

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So I decided to simply stare at him and act like I was frozen.

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I was unsure how to respond to this

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I stared in his bug buggy eyes...

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You will be from great benefit in finding the evil thief.

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So you should know what a human thief is thinking.

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with a very serious and almost threatening tone:

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who stole the queen of our lovely planet.

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Oh was that not obvious you? We need to find the human...

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He repeated.

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WILL YOU HELP US... YOU?

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You are a human, aren't you you?

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in a small house, would be the beloved queen of a whole planet.

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Ohm... Excuse me?

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As I became aware of my situation

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slowly a spaceship was fading in around me...

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while the pilot is not able to react...

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I remembered that there are spaceships like this

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What was going on? Where was I?

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for the pilot as well.

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Welcome to flight XOXO.

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was I floating in space?

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this is supposed to protect them from enemies

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Wherever I was looking I could see only stars...

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Prepare for launch you!!!

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Basically only stars...

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No I mean I already understood you. But help you with what?

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not just because I was confused and didn't know what to do.)

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SUPER YOU! We are glad to have you on our side you

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If the pilot falls asleep they will go into invisibility mode

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Before I even could do anything

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the small chair launched into the air.

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So many stars...

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Everything was so fast that I must have lost conscience.

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With that, the cracking voice from the loudspeaker was gone.

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And a big green button which had a sticky mark on it.

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As I woke up I was staring a sky full of stars.

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however, I didn't imagine, that they would actually turn invisible

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I looked at the controls of the spaceship

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I was all alone.

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A big red button which was labeled with fire.

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We will be waiting for your results.

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so whenever you find her we will be there to rescue her.

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We do track your position continuously

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Your goal is to find the queen.

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We are happy to have you with us.

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Said a voice from a loudspeaker.

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We wish you good luck, captain.

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Then there was silence again...

22.4%

How can I be useful today?

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I scratched my head...

22.4%

Hopefully, it wasn't one of those models that kept asking

22.4%

useless question forever...

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I... I am supposed to find a flower... a queen... a flower queen

22.4%

Scanning...

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Are you still there?

22.4%

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22.4%

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22.4%

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22.4%

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and to make me a nice fresh coffee.

22.4%

What? Who said that?

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as the great 20-year asteroid showers.

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It is me, my good Sir. Your board computer.

22.4%

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22.4%

Asked a really polite voice.

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I actually have barely ever been in one...

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and recognized that those were surprisingly simple.

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It basically only consisted of a joystick

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obviously to control the movement of my spaceship

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"Press in case that you found the queen. BUT ONLY THEN!!!, it said."

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My head started hurting again.

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22.4%

How did I come into this situation?

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I did never fly a spaceship before.

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and tried to crush my spaceship under their enormous weight.

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I was not the flying type

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and basically got stolen by myself.

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22.4%

I mean how was I supposed to find a flower

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22.4%

and preferred the comfort of teleportation

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22.4%

which was somewhere in the universe

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22.4%

and there was nothing I could do in this situation anyway.

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22.4%

I decided it was best to take a short nap.

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22.3%

I thought I was hallucinating as I heard the words.

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22.3%

And we took off to another adventure...

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22.3%

coffee that was teleported in my mouth.

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22.3%

and maybe haven't slept for 10 days because of the constant

22.3%

Finally 20 years later I had developed a serious coffee addiction

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22.3%

You get the idea.

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Shoot.

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22.3%

Dodge.

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Asteroids approaching.

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22.3%

Asteroids approaching.

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22.3%

Shoot.

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22.3%

Dodge.

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22.3%

Shoot.

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22.3%

Dodge.

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22.3%

Asteroids approaching.

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22.3%

Here is a short summary of our war:

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22.3%

this took us around 20 years.

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22.3%

Because of the shire size of the army

22.3%

My spaceship destroyed the asteroids 1 by 1 while dodging

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22.3%

which made it much more easy to dodge the asteroids.

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22.3%

and very slow if it comes to changing the flight direction

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22.3%

It also worked in our favor that asteroids are huge

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22.3%

Well, that was easy. We are all done here, Sir.

22.3%

as the great astroid graveyards of the great 20-year war.

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I looked out of the window and was what later was known

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22.3%

The spaceship landed and I went out.

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22.3%

After being trapped in a spaceship for 20 years

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22.3%

pilot they mostly didn't even come close to us.

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22.3%

Besides our differences,

22.3%

U du still rumember thu lust une... ut wus crazuy!

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22.3%

Nuw, sunce yuu ure hure and U huve nuthing butter tuu duu...

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22.3%

cun nut be ungry ut ull. Therefure U forguv yuu.

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22.3%

Wull, guud fur yuu thut wu astruid peuple

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22.3%

Ut is you! Yuu whu dufeatud muy armuy.

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22.3%

As I came closer he started shouting...

22.3%

I looked around and saw an old man sitting on a bench.

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22.3%

that there was a planet right in front of us.

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22.3%

Amazing... I said sarcastically.

22.3%

It had moved so fast that I didn't even recognize

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22.3%

Then the spaceship stopped.

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22.3%

I really didn't listen at all.

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22.3%

but not the existence itself.

22.3%

which also works if there is no molecule at that point because

22.3%

the potential existence of a molecule at a certain point

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22.3%

that was just what I needed at this moment.

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22.3%

Without even waiting for my command the spaceship

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22.3%

Now we will get you the queen!

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22.3%

Great to hear you are satisfied with m work, Sir.

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22.3%

explained how he was able to generate energy out of

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22.3%

"Since you already know that I, the king of the asteroids, tricked you to bring me the flower queen"

22.3%

Because the board computer apparently was an incredible

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22.3%

Anyhow, I have found what you are looking for.

22.3%

Like little shining hopes in the endless void.

22.3%

So small by yet so big.

22.3%

I leaned back and watched the stars.

22.3%

because it got teleported directly into my mouth.

22.3%

as it almost killed me

22.3%

The coffee turned out to be a mistake

22.3%

Then I told the board computer to take the direct route

22.3%

That was easy, I thought by myself.

22.3%

Would you like to take the direct route?

22.3%

So I fell asleep once I finished my task

22.3%

My thoughts got interrupted as the board computer announced.

22.3%

Oh excuse me, dear Sir.

22.3%

Computer! Wake up. What is wrong with you.

22.3%

Did the board computer just fall asleep?

22.3%

A little snoring was filling the air.

22.3%

...

22.3%

What is happening?

22.3%

Hello?

22.3%

The reply was very short.

22.3%

Do you really think it is the time to sleep, Sir

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22.3%

Too much thinking always got me tired

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22.3%

Soon after that like a cuatrillon astroids showed up

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22.3%

What a crazy world to be alive I thought by myself.

22.3%

We are getting visitors.

22.3%

Seems like the evil empire of the asteroids is trying to stop us.

22.3%

to teleport some more coffee into my mouth.

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22.3%

It even found the time

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22.3%

and prepared to fight back.

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22.3%

The board computer smoothly dodged the asteroids

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and a very fast moving object that was hard to hit.

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Luckily my spaceship was on autopilot

22.3%

Which that the near asteroid started flying in our direction.

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The following war would be known

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who single handily fought the whole empire of the asteroids.

22.3%

of war by the very fearless mighty Captain Curtain

22.3%

This sentence should later be known of the great declaration

22.3%

We will defeat your empire, so bring it on!

22.3%

It is our duty to find the flower queen!

22.3%

Before I could even say something the board computer answered.

22.3%

I really wanted.

22.3%

So better turn back now before they will crush you."

22.3%

I really didn't.

22.3%

you will also know about my mighty army of asteroids."

22.3%

I really didn't.

22.3%

I really didn't.

22.3%

You seem to have figured out what happened.

22.3%

Suddenly an image of the party dude appeared

22.3%

in front of my inner eye.

22.2%

Yuu whu ruined muy purfect plun uf tuking uver P32X4D.

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22.2%

the source of power was only the potential of its existence

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22.2%

Huw ubuut u luttle partuy weeund un P32X4D?

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22.2%

On the way the board computer

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22.2%

Calculated the coordination of a planet and started moving again.

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