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Now though I just blindly copied stuff from actually working portrait mods: The new code is a lot simpler and more elegant. This means when someone now reports their portraits as not showing up, I'm ten times faster in not reproducing the bug! Also, I'm like ten times faster entering "helpless and frustrated"-mode.
But don't worry, if someone who can actually program one day takes a look at my code and finds out what is going on here, I'll update the code immediately!
Just don't hold your breath, is what I'm saying.