The Chosen One. An Imperial Guard hybrid playthrough.

From Teron to the end. From zero to hero. The story of a charismatic mercenary turned Imperial Guard. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll stop reading this crap and start doing the laundry.

Intro & tips

Obligatory author soapbox moment. What is the best way to play the Age of Decadence? Don't read the forums, don't read any guides (irony alert). Do read the in-game tutorial, help screens, do the combat training. And then play as you see fit. Or not. Up to you. Oh, and eat your veggies. They're good for you.

Blocker combat advice. Shield bash is good. Shield bash is your friend. Aimed strikes can also make your life easier, especially combined with critical strike and/or poison, bleeding. Have balms and antidotes with you in a case you have a nosebleed or get stung by a bee or something. Poison, bombs, nets, bolas, liquid fire, acid, and potions (neurostim, berserker) are all nice things to have and use. Always have at least one spare shield with you. Some enemy tactic working great against you, like getting netted or knocked down? Good. Copy it (if possible) and use it against them. Your (human) enemies play by the same rules you do.

Character creation. By the power vested in me by the devs of this game, I dub thee Platypus. Go forth and bring riches and glory to yourself and yourself alone.
I'll be increasing block, sword, persuasion, streetwise, (later) critical strike. I've raised alchemy to two to make my own medicine 'cause I'm too lazy to run to the healer every time I stub my toe, and too cheap to keep buying balms from merchants. I'll eventually bump crafting to 4 so I can fix my own stuff & sharpen my weapons. Other skills will go up because of training, etc.

Let's get this show on the road.

Teron

The inn. First I buy some stuff from the alchemist, make some poison and coat my sword with it. My boss, let's call him Minimus Brainius, wants me to stand guard while some peddler gets his beauty sleep. I hate this job. Some shopping first.

Market. I buy nets, a cavalry shield, and a buckler. Some noisy thief wannabe disturbs me. Don't quit your day job, you twit. I throw him out and spin a tale of selfless vigilance to the awakened trader. My gullible friend thanks me profusely and tells me to talk to Kemnebi in Maadoran. Networking, baby! It's all about who you know.

Assassin. Gracius, my friend and benefactor, lies cold and lifeless on the floor. With sword and shield I swear to bring the vile murderer to justice. Quick & normal strike, then shield bash. Repeat till scum is dead. I make some balms, heal myself, and relieve the corpses of their valuables. Minimus comes up with a plan to make a quick buck. With clever use of nets, poison, quick strikes, and shield bash I prevail against the two thugs. Alas, Vardanis, my friend and partner, lies dead on the field of battle. My heart is heavy, but my purse is full as I take the cash off his corpse. Upon hearing my tale of valor, Minumus promptly fires me. You can't fire me! I quit!

Feng. I skillfuly bargain with him & obtain a powerful amulet. Tremble, mortals! Time to show the map to Antidas. On the way to the palace I convince a preacher I'm the Chosen One™. Ohohoho! This'll be oh-so-sweet!

Howdy, lady Camilla. Permit me to swindle you outta some gems. Thank you kindly, I'll be in touch.

Dellar. Smooth talk failure. He gives me two jobs to prove myself. Damn. Plan B. I pretend to be a guard and fast talk my way in. Success! Behold Antidas, Tsar and Autocrat of this rinky-dink town. Map, destiny, temple, awesomeness. Gotcha. I ask Dellar about caravan robbin'. He gives me some pointers on stabbing people in the face. After some persuasion a trader in front of the inn generously donates some cash to my worthy cause. Now to deal with Cassius. He seems like a nice guy so I just scare him off. Feng is pleased & teaches me some of his scheming ways.

Dellar job 1: Aurelian Outpost. I came, I saw, I got the hell outta there. Discretion is the better part of valor. Maybe later. Much later. Dellar job 2: Bandits.They want Maharaja Antidas to pony up some cash. Back to Teron. Gate. Refugees. Pay entry fee. Report to Dellar. Turns out Cassius snitched me to Antidas. That ungrateful wretch! Truly, no good deed goes unpunished. My brain cooks up a cunning plan. Dellar gives me his seal of approval and off I go to pay the bandits to attack the Aurelians. The Aurelians and the bandits are dead, I get to keep 1000 imperials (imps), stab the bandit leader in the face and take a steel gladius off his corpse. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

I try to con Shahanshah Antidas with the ring I got from Feng. Cassius almost ruins it, but I manage to pull off a minor victory. Let's talk to this egghead. I manage to convince him to teach me some of his bookwormy skills since House Daratan & me are buddy-buddy. I do some shopping . Bolas, nets, bombs, liquid fire, sharpening stones. Aemolas rewards me with an armor.

Choosing a faction. I join the Imperial Guards (IG). This chaotic mess needs some law and order, pronto.

A centurion orders us to dress as raiders and attack a merchant caravan. Er, why? SHUT-THE-HELL-UP-AND-DO-AS-I-SAY-YOU'RE-IN-THE-ARMY-NOW! Sir, yes, sir! I graciously leave the glory of frontal assault to my comrades while I humbly protect the rear. We prevail and the evil caravan is no more. The centurion decides to test the mettle of me and two other recruits. I take a step back and allow my competitors to discuss things among themselves. After a heated debate I am the only one standing. I get copper armor & helmet + a fashionable cape.

Before the next mission I'll practice a bit and tie up any loose ends in Teron. Some minor altercations, tragic misunderstandings, and differences of opinion follow. Livia's gang, the slums gang, the corrupt guard, Miltiades' victims, and his coworkers are all dead. I let Milty live. Twice.
While poking around the tower with the squatters I find a pretty blue thingie. I helpfully explain to the squatters that it's cursed and convince them to give me a sapphire.

Barracks. Meet Commander Roidrage Carrinas. He gives a rousing speech. While a single Imperial Guard draws breath (preferably me) Teron shall not fall!

Tower assault. Our decanus is the first casualty. With an inspiring speech I rally the men and present my ingenious plan. Someone will bravely volunteer to be a pincushion while we scale the walls and get the archers. Enthusiastic agreement all around. Glorious victory! I am now a decanus! I receive an iron armor & helmet. Hurray!

Commander Sledgehammer wants to have a word with me. His plan is to provoke Antidas, after he attacks us we stomp his guts out. Good plan. Violence solves everything. Or make a deal with him. No! Violence solves everything! I must choose my words carefully. I tell Antidas his new title is the Emperor of Latrines. He is not amused. We lose two men. After Dellar falls it's just a matter of time. Antidas gets to take a real close look at my sword. That was fun. Let's see what Commander Wrecking Ball has to say. Huh. I have to answer for my crimes. I pick the trial. I'll run circles around those dimwits. Onwards to Maaaaaaaaadoran!

Ps. With Antidas dead and House Daratan gone, Cassius is forced to hustle for survival. Alas, how terrible is learning when it brings no profit to the learned.

Maadoran

Behold Gaelius! The ruler of Maadoran and Lord of House Aurelian. A balding man in pajamas with laurel around his head. That wreath would look great on his grave.

The silly man tries to make me a clown in his little show to impress the audience. I turn the tables on him. Yeah, we stomped Antidas. He couldn't run a kebab stand. Oh, and the Charter allowed us to do that.

Watch him squirm. Priceless. Keep sweating while we turn on the heat, little piggy. You already have herbs around your head. Eventually you'll have an apple in your mouth.

Before I do anything else I need to get my stuff back. I take a stroll to the barracks. On the way there I politely convince some thugs to give me money. I love diplomacy.

Fort. I meet Legatus Pavola. 'Twould appear this burnout will be barking orders at me while I'm in Maadoran. Joy. He tasks me with protecting some guildmaster called Strabos. I'll do that. After I do some sightseeing.

First order of business is to talk to Domitius. Antidas is dead, but the Temple of Awesomeness could give me power. Lots of sweet, sweet power. King Platypus. Emperor Platypus!

Huh? Gaelius wants to see me. Again? Fine, fine. I tell Gaelius I'm flattered, but I really don't feel that way about him.

Kemnebi. We make short work of the Hundred Swords. The reward is all I can carry. What am I, a mule? How the hell am I supposed to carry all this crap by myself? What a waste of time. »Take anything you see,« he says. Idiot. Against my better judgement, I talk to Kemnebi again. No more jobs, but the does teach me a thing or two about fighting & haggling. Hurray!

Preacher. I make a lasting impression on the mob. Howdy, preacher. I'm THE CHOSEN ONE. Spread it around.

Slums. Leon. A guided tour? Why the hell not. It's a trap. Stand down, scum! I'm a damn Imperial Guard. They're not impressed. Shield bash & a couple of whirlwinds later, I get my money back from Leon's corpse. Let's get outta here. I meet Milty again. The three stooges hassling him are tough, but they bleed and die like the rest. Another job for Milty. I have to kill 3 nobles. Power (and cash) to the people. And I represent the people. Gimme! 2000 imps, a steel yatagan, and a steel shamshir. Very nice. Since I have money to spend I can buy the Dreamweaver gladius (Imperial Trader, Commercium building). I sharpen it & coat it with poison. It will serve me well along with a shield called Impenetrable. All I need now are the Sandals of Groinkicking, a Codpiece of Safety, and a Cape of Suicidal Overconfidence - unfortunately, these fine items are not in the game. Yet.

I'm not done with the slums yet. I jump in a well. I find some minor goodies, but the rest are outta my reach. That locked safe is taunting me, urging me to open it. Oh well. Merhab & hiz Boyz in da Slumz get in my way and get butchered. Abyss. Ohohoho, heeeeell no! I ain't exploring no toxic deathtraps. Back the hell up, now! Hermon's gang. I tell them I work for Levir and they swallow it hook, line, and sinker. I deliver the package. It explodes. Figures. No 3000 imps for me, but maybe I can get some payback. Employees of the dearly departed loanshark give me a name and address. I go to the temple area. Some very nice stuff for sale.

Market. I talk to Abukar & Nasir.

Noble district. I have a chat with Silvanus. »Speak softly, be armed to the teeth, and have a reputation for stabbin' people in the face, and good things will happen.« My mother was right! The gem is mine. Calvus revenge. Father & son duo are dead. I tell the guards I'm with the army. The Calvus twits had it comin'. The guards will snitch me to Pavola! Oh noes! Some loon yellin' about justice. What is your major malfuntion, fruitloop? I humor him and talk to the guy who's squatting in his house. Magic armor? In Ganezzar? I want!

I give Nasir the gem and pay for some lessons in the house across from his place.
Inn. I unload some luggage. Stomp Kadmos and take his stuff. Nice armor. Arena time! Gut some chumps. Help Basil & Quinty. Gut some more chumps. Become champ. Nicer armor. Hurray! Healer quest. Get some thing-a-ma-bob. Deal.

I've had my fun. Duty calls. I meet Strabos. I try to convince the sack of lard to give me the info. He doesn't trust me. Gee golly gosh, mister. Would I lie to you? You bet! Hamza comes 'round. Here's the thing, gramps. I'm wearing blue steel armor, you're wearing pajamas. I save Hamza the indignity of dying in bed, then talk to tubby. Porky tells me Gaelius is running scared after our Teron stunt and wants the Ordu to save his perfumed backside. Interesting. Some unscrupulous person could tell Gaelius the cat's out of the bag, and switch sides. Not me. Not yet anyway. Upon hearing the news, Legatus Pavola sends me to Harran's Pass to save the day while he bravely remains behind to protect his cubbyhole. Off I go.

Harran's Pass. Meet Centurion Bass. Apparently, intelligence and independent thought can be harmful to your career in the army. Shocking. I do some shopping and then go to the Ordu camp.

Khan Thogrul. Just pronouncing his name is enough to make babies cry. Like gargling broken glass. Anyway. Howdy, savage. Problems with your underlings, huh? Worry not, my squinty-eyed friend. I'll solve your problem. I have a chat with Belgutai. Thogrul and his bodyguards end up dead. Belgutai is the new khan. Problem solved. What about those loyal to the old regime? I have an idea. Back to the pass.

Harran's Pass . The Ordu are attacking. COME AND GET ME, CONEHEADS! Glorious battle. Suddenly, Belgutai retreats. As agreed.

Thogrul is dead. His loyalists are dead. The rest of the Ordu will freeze and starve under the magnificent leadership of Khan Belgutai. Gaelius is humiliated and weakened. Our ranks swell with eager new recruits. And I'm a frikkin' war hero. I love this job.

Caer-Tor. I meet Comrade Stalin Dux Paullus. Looks like I'm going to Ganezzar, but first I have to pass some silly test. I don't have time for this crap. I convince Raenas, the brainless yes-man, to give me five men to order around. I report back to Paullus. He makes me a legatus. Sweet. Before I go, I explore the camp. Some bitter centurion doubts my heroism. I prove him wrong, get some training, and talk to an old healer. The old man gingerly points out the fact that all this mess is Paullus' fault since he sent an insubordinate, bloodthirsty idiot to Teron. Violence ensued. Shocking. Who could have predicted this? Now it's up to me to salvage the situation.

Ganezzar

First order of business is meeting the Lord of House Crassus. After Antidas and Gaelius, Meru is a pleasant surprise. Actually... no. His sanity took a long walk off a short pier ages ago. Yes, yes. Gods, salvation, redemption, Al-Akia. Gotcha. But first, I'll take some time off to explore the city.

I chat with Laevinus, scam some blue steel off a trader, fail to help a prospector. Oops.
Divine Providence guides me to help Hector and his kindly fellows. Berengarius generously donates cash to the cause. Now to deal with Darganus. No one mocks the Gods, you filthy unbeliever! Esdras. After some gladius-assisted persuasion I get the power armor and insert three power tubes. Awwww yeah. At this point people should be either worshipping me, crapping their tunics, or running away.


Old Keep. Apparently, lots of people in the wasteland think wearing helmets is just plain wrong. I agree. My sword through their unprotected faces is much better. I add a fine blue steel shamshir to my collection.

Side quests & exploration. Old Facility. Relax, I'm Gluteous Maximus, Praetor of House Aurelian. Let me pass. Massive door. Crap. Maybe later. Three engineers carrying explosives arrive. How convenient. Can you open that lil' door for me, boys? Of course you can. Wait here. A skyship. Awesome. And it's mine, all mine! I go to the control room, use the blue thingie I found in Teron and... nothing. Dagnabbit. I tried. The engineers want to seal my precious ship away. Three corpses later, I get topside. The guards are more open to diplomacy and wisely scram to Maadoran.

Saross. I stab the prospector. I learn about three locations. I try to fix the generator. Something's missing.
Arch. Yes, yes. Gods, miracles. Gotcha. Whatever's here, I ain't seein' it.

Monastery. Buncha raiders gettin' ready to attack a village. Howdy, fellas. Ah'd sure appreciate if y'all'd move on to greener pastures. Now. The villagers are grateful. They're lying through the teeth about not having that plant, though. Aw, fudge it. Let them have it. I already have the power armor.

Inferiae. I'm greeted by a comely young maiden named Azra. She is polite and friendly, always ready to share her knowledge without condescension. She allows me to explore their guesthouse. All the guests were so pleased with their accomodations, they decided to stay forever. I can see why. The host is a most charming individual. Behind that stony apprearance lies a kind and gentle soul. After a most enlightening conversation, I use the portal to depart. Some of my host's friendliness has rubbed off on me. Indeed, I shall carry the warmth of his generous heart with me always.

Back in Maadoran. I tell the healer there's no elixir. Arena championship title defense. Three more corpses. I visit Valla about the power armor and renegotiate. Abukar gives me an oil injector to fix the generator. I check on Basil. A dandy + two gorillas have to be dispatched. Now for Quintus. 2 bareheaded thugs to kill.

Zamedi. The kindness of my Inferiae friend encourages me to overcome my shyness and meet a new friend. After some exploration and a spirited debate we part ways. Spread my glory, preacher.

Saross. I finally fix the generator. I open the door and find treasu... tablets? Tablets?! Where's the gold? The gemstones? The magic items?

Hellgate. A metal spider thing wants to kill me. Fat chance. Meet Bentanagbal. Loremaster ex hideyhole. This fast talking loon allows me to stroll around the place without being attacked by the spider constructs. In exchange he wants me to bring him a magic spear, which he'll use to wreak terrible vengeance on the villains who killed his family. Why? Because »he has too.«
...
...
...
All right. I give the twitchy man the Divine Spear. My good deed for the day.
Dead River. A buncha dead-eyed, fish-lipped weirdoes. I need a rope.

Time to do Meru's job. Al-Akia. The loremasters send me to check out the ruins for bogeymen. Damn pansies. Have to do everything myself. Oh look, an overgrown bug. I find a weird armor and some writings. Uh oh. This is bad. Very bad. Helping Meru might not be such a good idea after all. I'm gettin' the hell outta here. Topside. My men and the brainiacs are all dead, killed by Aurelians. I bluff my way through. To Ganezzar!

The city is under siege. Sneak failure. D'oh! As penance for my neglect of impersonate and sneak I have to kill 4 Aurelians. Howdy, Meru. The expedition members are with the Gods now, but the machines are a-ok, so you can bring your cosmic abomination into the world as soon as Gaelius gets bored and abandons the siege. Since Meru lacks patience he wants to make a deal with the Devil. Paullus and my fellow soldiers will save your sorry hide... for the right price.

I report to Paullus. He wants to side with the Aurelians and stomp Meru. What? Side with Gaelius?! No! With all due respect, sir, your sociopathic desire to control and dominate is best served if you side with Meru. And I've read something you might like to hear. He thinks it over and send me back to Ganezzar.

I let the Aurelian Legatus know Paullus has changed his mind. Slaughter of the Aurelians ensues. Meru babbles about divine intervention. Paullus informs Meru he blew up Al-Akia. Hilarious.

My old pal Hector has a job for me. Milty is here. He messed up things is Maadoran. What a surprise. I take Milty to a meet Hector. Milty kills him, and I have to deal with the guards, a crossbowman and a Skanian wielding a warhammer named That Which Kills. Truly, Skania is a land of poets and philosophers.

Back to Caer-Tor. I receive new orders from Paullus. Find the temple! All right, all right. I get it. THE TEMPLE. I check on Basil first. Have to fight a Scolopendra. After that a local mob enforcer. I survive thanks to Anubis mode on my power armor. Lousy bolas...

With a rope in my backpack I go to Dead River. I'll cross the canyon on foot. I encounter giant scorpions. Lots of giant scorpions. After killing an entire army of these poisonous predators, I finally make it to the other side. Where's a magus with a Bug-B-Gone gizmo when you need one?

Ending

Ziggurat. Finally. A vacant-eyed nut greets me. »No cognitive damage,« he says. Could've fooled me. Use the console and clear the way for me, pal. Chop, chop!

The Chamber. Decision time. In yonder box something slumbers. Does my lust for power override fear, caution, and common sense?

Option A: Yes. Deus ex machina. Howdy, Apefrog. Sleep well? How'dya like to rule this lil' wasteland? You're shy, so you need someone to be a figurehead? Ooh! Ooh! Pick me, oh great space jellyfish made flesh! I'm the Chosen One! Apefrog accepts. Yesh! Power! Back to Ganezzar. Meru gets tentacle slapped into the grave. Now the grandees gather to anoint me as the First Acolyte. Can't convince Athanasius or the Prophet. Feng is here too and he's still sore about that whole Cassius business. Oh no. FAILURE. I was close... so close... *sob*

Option B: Aw, hell no. I slowly and carefully back away. Nothing to see here. The IG become the Templars and I get busted down from legatus to a an adeptus, a warrior-priest. No matter. Paullus is old, and I'm young. This army and this new empire will be mine, in time. With my power armor, charisma, silver tongue, and stellar reputation I'll win the hearts of commoners and legionaries alike. I am the Chosen One.

[Quickpawmaud]

Man this is false advertising. You don't even get the Chosen One ending.

[Craww]

That was fun to play though like thankssss

[Axa]

If you mean the temple area, there's traders with some pretty decent stuff for sale - weapons, bombs, nets, bolas, metal eye, etc. If you mean the loanshark, there's a tavern before the temple area where you deliver the package for the youth standing at the entrance to the slums. There are several outcomes to this quest. In this case, I got info where the kid lives - Calvus mansion in the noble district.

[Kobijona123]

In maadoran

I tell them I work for Levir and they swallow it hook, line, and sinker. I deliver the package. It explodes. Figures. No 3000 imps for me, but maybe I can get some payback. Employees of the dearly departed loanshark give me a name and address. I go to the temple area. Some very nice stuff for sale.

What did u do here idk what to do lmao

[TacoPower]

haha I loved your writing style!

[TheNuszAbides]

damn. i'll settle for max body count, then

[Axa]

No.

[TheNuszAbides]

I haven't tried a full-on tank yet and haven't seen any comprehensive guild walkthroughs in English - is there any benefit/recognition for finishing the first mission (raider costumes) without losing a fellow recruit?

[Axa]

Charisma isn't really important for an IG playthrough. In fact, most people see it as a dump stat.
The only thing the IG rep. really affects is the ending (and for convincing Paullus to side with Meru). If you have 15 or more (I think), you get a better ending. I think it's possible to reach it with CHA 4 if you start as a merc and don't screw up any of the IG tasks.

[Dibastian]

Man that was a joy to read, good stuff