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Bernie Needs Love
Platforms: PC, Linux
Languages: English
Players: Single-player
May 18 @ 6:07pm

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Release date: First quarter 2015
Bernie Needs Love is, in essence, a simple and lighthearted platformer in which the player must guide Bernie, a nice but anguished old man chased by death, towards his girlfriend — while avoiding the many hazards of a poorly maintained yet beautiful city and collecting blue 'love-enhancing' pills to make it an extra-special night!

Here is a list of the enemies, items, and obstacles implemented so far:
  • stationary birds that release deadly poop
  • flying birds that also release deadly poop
  • exploding manholes
  • robbers
  • duck floaters
  • exposed steam pipes
  • blue 'love-enhancing' pills that act as score
  • hidden red pills that unveil secrets
  • crowd-control officers
  • deranged bioengineered peafawns set on avenging their plucked tails
  • the Grim Reaper, including his scythe and zombie minions of varied expertise

In a time of eye candy and accessibility over gameplay and personality, Bernie Needs Love truly stands out from the crowd with its charming retro graphics, lovingly composed chiptune music, and hardcore difficulty level — which are sure to satisfy players who grew up in the 8-bit era.

Aesthetically, Bernie Needs Love is both a loveletter to the games of the 80s and early 90s, but also an experiment on getting the most out of a self-imposed set of limitations: the palette is a mix of CPC and C64 colors with a few odd ones that are necessary for highlights and other elements that must stand out, while the original chiptune soundtrack is entirely created with synthesizers that faithfully emulate the hardware of iconic 8-bit and 16-bit machines.

Regardless of its nostalgic appeal, Bernie Needs Love is an up-to-date game from the depicted subjects (i.e. the anguish of life in the constant shadow of imminent death, one's need for love and sex, the pharmaceutical industry, etc.) to the modern conveniences it provides, such as automatic support for the Xbox 360 controller, quick and easy switching between the windowed and fullscreen modes, audio options (toggle-enabled and independent controls for Music and SFX), and saving the player progress. Even the hair-pulling difficulty is balanced with infinite lives, immediate restart upon death, and no loading whatsoever after the first loading screen upon start (which shouldn't take more then 3 seconds, by the way).

The game is already available, but will remain in beta while stages and features are added. Once we reach the 30 planned stages (we're currently working on stages 11 to 20), the beta phase and the correspondent discounted price will be over. Development is expected to be complete in Q1 2015.

The 30 stages are divided as follows:
  • Stages 01 to 10 -> Downtown (Implemented)
  • Stages 11 to 20 -> Carnival (WIP)
  • Stages 21 to 30 -> Beach (WIP)

Each area is subdivided in two to three subareas. For example, here is the subdivision of the first ten levels:
  • Stages 01 to 07 -> The Park
  • Stages 08 and 09 -> Downtown (aka Red Light District)
  • Stage 10 -> Cemetery and Boss Fight

The second area, focused on the Carnival festivities of Bernie's city, starts with a street parade and will later take our protagonist to the arena where samba schools exhibit their humongous thematic cars to thousands of viewers. Finally, another subarea will be added for the second boss battle — but we're still deciding on the exact environment. The same model will be applied to the 3rd and last area, the beach: from a sunny morning to the new year's eve celebration, levels 3-1 to 3-10 will span across such settings and finish with a one last 1-on-1 fierce encounter with the reaper.

For now, we support Windows and Linux (32 and 64-bit systems) — but a Mac port is very likely sometime after version 1.0 is released for the two current platforms.
Popular Discussions View All (2)
May 23 @ 5:26am
Jul 17 @ 10:28am
Looks cool
< >
protomni  [author] Aug 10 @ 3:43am 
@RX Queen - Thanks! We're very happy to see you like it! The new update is almost ready (, so please do check back often because there'll be a lot of cool stuff introduced. Take care and have a nice Sunday! Cheers!
RX Queen Aug 9 @ 10:04pm 
awesome. i want this
aFriend|yCow_{HoF} (CEVO) Jul 14 @ 7:53pm 
protomni  [author] Jul 14 @ 3:37pm 
@aFriendlyCow_{HoF} - Thank you very much for the kind support and for the feedback! In the current available beta build, there is already one building you can enter after finding a secret, and it opens a new hidden level that explains a bit more of the plot. As we implement the next stages, we'll surely add more of those — if you have any suggestions, by the way, feel free to let us know! ;) Have fun and take care!
aFriend|yCow_{HoF} (CEVO) Jul 14 @ 3:28pm 
It would be even more awesome if players were allowed in the buildings. 1+ yes vote!
protomni  [author] Jul 7 @ 6:59pm 
@TRWX - Thank you very much for the support and for the kind comment — it made our day!
TRWX Jul 7 @ 6:03pm 
12/10 better than duke nukem Weekend at Bernie's 3: Bernie in Bonetown
protomni  [author] Jul 7 @ 2:41pm 
@annoying pyromaniac - Motivation is key, it seems. ;)
annoying pyromaniac. Jul 7 @ 2:40pm 
bernies pretty agile for a old guy whos bieng chased by death
protomni  [author] Jul 7 @ 2:36pm 
@annoying pyromaniac - Hi there! Yeah, that's basically it: Bernie has to reach his girlfriend and put those blue pills to good use before death catches up with him - but there are other underlying topics along the way, such as urban decay and violence, big pharma, etc. Thanks for the interest and feel free to ask if you have any further questions!