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Bernie Needs Love
Platforms: PC, Linux
Languages: English
Players: Single-player
May 18 @ 6:07pm

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Recent Announcements View All (1)
New Beta Update Available!
Beta Update Announcement

Hi, friends! We're glad to announce the update to version 0.81 is available!

This version introduces the following changes:

  • 4 new enemy types: crowd-control officers, giant mutant deplucked peafowls, drones, and pissing drunkards!
  • a new music track, "True Carnival", for the "Street Carnival" subarea
  • level 2-1, which opens the 2nd third of the 30 levels version 1.0 will feature
  • a completly new level selection screen, showing Bernie's cab on the way to each stage

If you haven't already, this is a great time to get Bernie Needs Love on Desura[] or ShinyLoot[] with a 50% beta discount and get your hands on the Carnival-themed goodness introduced by this new update! Once we get Bernie Needs Love greenlit, everyone who bought a copy on either Desura or ShinyLoot will get a Steam key as well.

Finally, we'd like to thank every fan and reviewer who has helped us so far — despite its undeniable simplicity, Bernie Needs Love is a very ambitious project both in terms of quality and overall art style, so your support is extremely important to help our tiny team of 3 get the game on Steam. So, if you like what we're doing, please help by spreading the word! Thanks! We really appreciate your support!

Release date: First quarter 2015
Bernie Needs Love is, in essence, a simple and lighthearted platformer in which the player must guide Bernie, a nice but anguished old man chased by death, towards his girlfriend — while avoiding the many hazards of a poorly maintained yet beautiful city and collecting blue 'love-enhancing' pills to make it an extra-special night!

Here is a list of the enemies, items, and obstacles implemented so far:
  • stationary birds that release deadly poop
  • flying birds that also release deadly poop
  • exploding manholes
  • robbers
  • duck floaters
  • exposed steam pipes
  • blue 'love-enhancing' pills that act as score
  • hidden red pills that unveil secrets
  • crowd-control officers
  • deranged bioengineered peafawns set on avenging their plucked tails
  • the Grim Reaper, including his scythe and zombie minions of varied expertise

In a time of eye candy and accessibility over gameplay and personality, Bernie Needs Love truly stands out from the crowd with its charming retro graphics, lovingly composed chiptune music, and hardcore difficulty level — which are sure to satisfy players who grew up in the 8-bit era.

Aesthetically, Bernie Needs Love is both a loveletter to the games of the 80s and early 90s, but also an experiment on getting the most out of a self-imposed set of limitations: the palette is a mix of CPC and C64 colors with a few odd ones that are necessary for highlights and other elements that must stand out, while the original chiptune soundtrack is entirely created with synthesizers that faithfully emulate the hardware of iconic 8-bit and 16-bit machines.

Regardless of its nostalgic appeal, Bernie Needs Love is an up-to-date game from the depicted subjects (i.e. the anguish of life in the constant shadow of imminent death, one's need for love and sex, the pharmaceutical industry, etc.) to the modern conveniences it provides, such as automatic support for the Xbox 360 controller, quick and easy switching between the windowed and fullscreen modes, audio options (toggle-enabled and independent controls for Music and SFX), and saving the player progress. Even the hair-pulling difficulty is balanced with infinite lives, immediate restart upon death, and no loading whatsoever after the first loading screen upon start (which shouldn't take more then 3 seconds, by the way).

The game is already available, but will remain in beta while stages and features are added. Once we reach the 30 planned stages (we're currently working on stages 11 to 20), the beta phase and the correspondent discounted price will be over. Development is expected to be complete in Q1 2015.

The 30 stages are divided as follows:
  • Stages 01 to 10 -> Downtown (Implemented)
  • Stages 11 to 20 -> Carnival (WIP)
  • Stages 21 to 30 -> Beach (WIP)

Each area is subdivided in two to three subareas. For example, here is the subdivision of the first ten levels:
  • Stages 01 to 07 -> The Park
  • Stages 08 and 09 -> Downtown (aka Red Light District)
  • Stage 10 -> Cemetery and Boss Fight

The second area, focused on the Carnival festivities of Bernie's city, starts with a street parade and will later take our protagonist to the arena where samba schools exhibit their humongous thematic cars to thousands of viewers. Finally, another subarea will be added for the second boss battle — but we're still deciding on the exact environment. The same model will be applied to the 3rd and last area, the beach: from a sunny morning to the new year's eve celebration, levels 3-1 to 3-10 will span across such settings and finish with a one last 1-on-1 fierce encounter with the reaper.

For now, we support Windows and Linux (32 and 64-bit systems) — but a Mac port is very likely sometime after version 1.0 is released for the two current platforms.
Popular Discussions View All (2)
May 23 @ 5:26am
Jul 17 @ 10:28am
Looks cool
< >
protomni  [author] Oct 9 @ 9:06am 
@epsylon_unico - Yup! Lovingly drawn pixelated boobs!
epsylon_unico Oct 9 @ 6:58am 
protomni  [author] Aug 24 @ 4:10pm 
@ping - Thank you for the kind comment! It means a lot to us, and it makes us very happy to know you like what we're doing here! Take care and have a nice week!
ping Aug 24 @ 3:20pm 
This looks really good. Good luck!
protomni  [author] Aug 10 @ 3:43am 
@RX Queen - Thanks! We're very happy to see you like it! The new update is almost ready (, so please do check back often because there'll be a lot of cool stuff introduced. Take care and have a nice Sunday! Cheers!
RX Queen Aug 9 @ 10:04pm 
awesome. i want this
aFriend|yCow_{HoF} Jul 14 @ 7:53pm 
protomni  [author] Jul 14 @ 3:37pm 
@aFriendlyCow_{HoF} - Thank you very much for the kind support and for the feedback! In the current available beta build, there is already one building you can enter after finding a secret, and it opens a new hidden level that explains a bit more of the plot. As we implement the next stages, we'll surely add more of those — if you have any suggestions, by the way, feel free to let us know! ;) Have fun and take care!
aFriend|yCow_{HoF} Jul 14 @ 3:28pm 
It would be even more awesome if players were allowed in the buildings. 1+ yes vote!
protomni  [author] Jul 7 @ 6:59pm 
@TRWX - Thank you very much for the support and for the kind comment — it made our day!