Rockin around the Christmas tree at the Xmas Party Hop. It was the annual XA xmas party! 32 people packed in Steven’s 10by10 toolshed. Kitt3n was hanging mistletoe everywhere. Spor had his Ms dressed as Elves. Brucey held a bible and spoke about the true meaning of Xmas. JAWSler was lecturing on the superiority of a white xmas. Dext was flirting with smiyo, philly, hobokitty, ducky and bex. Steven was flirting with Tuna, Selbs, Mav and the 6 Dannys. Mr. Yeffery stood near the window streaming 8Crazy Nights on his phone while on the lookout for Palestinian protestors. Mclovin and deebo sat by the fire smoking cigars talking about real estate and immigration. Blap hid in the closet, insulting everyone who walked by and asking if Alejo was there. Windmill stood outside selling salvation for 1$ and slugz hotboxed his car surrounded by nonsteamers and Dr. Kari, unable to enter the party. Nobody had seen original_mind.

No_Offense said “Steven where is Santa?” “I booked a new one this year.” The music suddenly changed. Everybody dance now! The door burst open it was Santa! He was half naked! He was thrusting his pelvis, gyrating his hips and twerking his ass. He wore a red thong speedo with a long white beard hanging from the front. Oh ♥♥♥♥. He was coming right for No_Offense. He was rubbing his balls on No_Offense. Something was sticking out beneath Santa’s crotch beard. Was it his penis? No! It was the tip of a slice of cheese pizza. No_Offense said “Original is that you?” A deep, stuttering voice returned “the mall fired me. Oh! heuheuhheuh” He looked at his watch “My fast just ended.” Original took the pizza that was stuffing his crotch and ate it. Then he burped. Pieces of wet cheese and pubic hair hit No_Offense’s face. This was more degrading than when No_Offense discovered Luna had a ♥♥♥♥. Xmas was ruined.

+rep. This player is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting kills apart from that, just fantastic.

CATFISH ALERT @Luna

It was xmas time, again. No_offense headed back to the mall to see Santa. It had been a rough year, inflation and rising cost of living, and of course No_offense’s gf kekega had dumped him. No_offense plopped himself down on Santa’s lap and started to grind his ass into his ♥♥♥♥. Santa said “hey stop that! I need to preserve my testosterone!” Santa sounded familiar. His voice was deep and stuttering, like his brain wasn’t functioning quite properly. The music was weird it sounded like… Boy Pablo. And Santa seemed to be talking to himself about gravity and time dilation. No_offense said “Original_mind is that you?” “NO!” Santa said. “Original mind is a computer programmer.” No_offense grabbed his white beard and ripped it off. The crowd gasped. It was original_mind! No_offense said “this why my xmas wish never comes true.” Original said “HEUH HEUH HEUH HEUH.” And ran off.No_offense put the beard on and sat down. Nooffense would be santa. Xmas was saved.

It was just about around this time i remember last year. we first met up and drank beer and ate each other out. youll always be the first butt i ate where i actually ate corn.