Sometimes when the lights are out and I'm feeling frisky, I'll go down into my basement, knock three times on the wall next to the bathroom door and magically a door will open to my magical sex dungeon that only i know about. You can come too sometime. Just avoid eye contact.

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新年快乐 Happy New Year

他媽的他媽的他媽的對我說，你小ch子？我會讓你知道我在海軍海豹畢業了我的班級，我曾經參與過許多關於基地組織的秘密襲擊事件，我已經有300多人確認死亡。我受過大猩猩的訓練，我是整個美軍的狙擊手。你對我沒什麼，只是另一個目標。我會擦拭你他媽的精確度，從來沒有見過這個地球上的喜歡，標記我他媽的話。你認為你可以說通過互聯網對我說話嗎？再想想，他媽的在我們說話的時候，我正在聯絡我的秘密的間諜網絡在美國，你的知識產權正在追踪，所以你更好地準備風暴，蛆。暴風雨消除了你所稱的生命的可悲小事。你是他媽的死，孩子。

So there's a chick in my class I like; unfrotunately im quiet, calculated and intelligent and she likes big dumb jocks. So anyway one day me and her boyfriend are walking among a group of our fellow students when a gang banger appears and threatens with a gun. Her 'big and though' boyfriend instantly freezes and loses the ability to speak. I on the other hand squint my eyes and step forward pulling my katana for judo practise out in one fell swoop . "Go ahead" I say. "The gun is only 400 years old while the sword is the child of many millenia. Do you fancy the odds?" Instantly the gang-banger drops his weapon and runs. My other classmates cheer while her jock boyfriend pretends the whole thing was funny. She looks at me and sees what she didnt see before. She thanks me with a kiss, but I dont smile because i was only doing my duty. Safe to say she saw who a real man was that day. I may be quiet and collected, but raise a weapon against me and youll face your worst nightmare.

Do you hear 👂what I hear??? It’s the sound 🎶of the polar SEXpress🚂🎄⛄️🎅 and you’ve just boarded🚉 You better watch 👀👅out! 🎄 You better not cry🙅😭! 🎄You better not pout 😡😩🙍 I’m telling you why 🎄Santa Claus 🎅 is cummin’ in dat ass🙌💦🎄send this 📬 to 10 of your hottest🔥🔥🔥 big booty elves! 🍑👶🎄 If you get 1 back📥 Santa🎅 won’t come down on that chimney 😏🏠❗️🎄If you get 5 back📥 you will for sure👌 get that stocking stuffed☃👊❗️🎄If you get 10 back📥 your ♥♥♥♥ 🍆 will be as big 🏆as the North Pole 🌁💈