elswanson
jake gyllenhaal   New York, New York, United States
 
 
you a gamer dude? me and my girlfriend, we're a gamer couple alright? zombies? i don't think so. 2 rounds with the pulse rifle? take em out. i prefer the shotgun tho. shotgun'll- shotgun'll make it's- it's bad news for any zombie. i'll take on the entire zombie apocalypse, just gimme a shotgun. you ready for the zombie apocalypse? you just get back from vidcon? i-i'm goin to comiccon. did you go to the convention? i'm going to comiccon. and i'm gonna meet all my favourite ironman and all my favourite characters are gonna be there and my favourite comicbook artists. yeah i'm really-i'm really souped for uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh diablo iii. when it comes out in 2014. am i right? epic fail blizzard, epic fail... uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just went to a steampunk convention. flew there in uh a steam powered gyro copter with my musket and my corncob pipe and my monocle. and an ascot and a newsie cap aaand doc martens and suspenders. and my characters name is humperdink. that's my character. humperdink. and i'm 32 years old, so i guess he's level 32. aaand i have a kid with my wife. and my wife i could've gotten, if you were gonna use a rating scale to rate women, which is disgusting, and if you do that you're a disgusting person. but my wife is a six point... eh no my wife's a five. i could've gotten a 6.5 uhhh but i'm a disgusting pig. i'm a slob. i smell. i have bad hygeine. she has the worst hygeine, which is why i'm comfortable with her because that's how i- because that's the way.. i'll make that i'll take that choice. i will make that compromise. that's my uuuh yknow. thats what i'll do. i'll forego a 6.5 in favour of a sloppy, 5. because i'm comfortable with the way i smell around her. because i smell really bad. and we have a kid. we have a little baby.. that we shouldn't of had but we did cus i don't know cus i do wanna.. i do wanna yknow. procreate. i wanna yknow. see my- my offspring in the world. cus that's important to the when uhhh you know... i named my kid arcadian, so that my kid has to suffer my steampunk... desires. but the good news is he'll proberly-probably grow up to be a loser and he'll like his name. he'll like the name arcadian because he'll be so stupid, cus he come from my genetic stock so he'll yknow he'll be wearing rose tinted vampire glasses. at some point. and corduroys. yknow. so it all works out.
Currently Offline
Favorite Game
2,751
Hours played
1
Achievements
Recent Activity
3.2 hrs on record
last played on Jun 5
43 hrs on record
last played on Jun 5
1,176 hrs on record
last played on Jun 5
Achievement Progress   1066 of 1328
Thundërz Dec 15, 2023 @ 7:35pm 
-rep cheating piece of ♥♥♥♥
Sgt_Regner Nov 16, 2023 @ 7:20pm 
+ rep bro cheated but we ended up winning so im okay with it:steamhappy:
Papa John Nov 16, 2023 @ 7:17pm 
-rep blatant walls
TippedOver Nov 16, 2023 @ 7:17pm 
-rep you will die a miserable death
Mraz Jan 28, 2023 @ 10:38pm 
nice walls, enjoy the vac
Fettison Sep 25, 2022 @ 12:14am 
-rep cheating dingus