- increase minimum wage to £900 per second (The economy can handle it, don't worry)
- have a wall of fame that shows only people I don't know of
- disabled parking spaces everywhere
- make everyone a professional musician for whatever instrument they would like
- make everyones instrument a legal weapon that only tickles if attacked by it
- arrest people that dislike dogs
- change my age so I can actually become president
- become best friends with Alfredo James Pacino
- make my good friends Jack and Connor a nice cup of tea
- make oatmeal illegal
- rename homework to workhome
- make poverty and world hunger illegal
- force nestle to give their copyright of kitkat to cadbury and give everyone a kit kat so they can have a break
- monty python movies are available for everyone for free and monty python gets money from taxes
- bring back 2004 clothing just to make people uncomfortable
- make weed legal but restrict its consumption slightly
- annual kahoot for everyone and joining is free of charge
- make something that is similar to lemonade, call it lemonaid and make it a healing elixir for every illness. It also tastes just the same
- bamboo will now be classified as currency
- cure unwanted addictions from everyone
- deodorant and tampons are now free everywhere except when you are in the ocean cause you probably don't need it there
- taxes are way easier to understand and pay for
- everyone has a cool nickname that fits them
- people with really high income are taxed more
- reduce the sugar in almost all juices but they taste the same
- measuring the height of Mr bean will now be illegal
- America no longer exists
- android users are now in a cool religion that they can leave at anytime and IPhone users gain nothing
- people will finally know their purpose and what they are doing in life
- Danny DeVito will now be crowned the best person in life
- every person who is not an arsehole will have their name written down when they die kinda like what happened in Avengers: Endgame
- all must wish me a happy birthday on the 7th of december (If I dont see 8 billion happy birthday messages half of you will lose your driving license)
- Dayman will now be the worldwide national anthem
- squirting now requires a permit
- Chinese food MUST be delivered by Italian people
- Maths and English are no longer "core" subjects
- everything you own must have a cute nickname
- your favourite song now plays when you are anxious or stressed out (you can disable this by pressing the button on the back of your head to access the settings)
- The Road to El Dorado suddenly becomes really popular (I think it is heavily underrated)
- Macklemore loses his rapping license and becomes a Macklewhore
- Crazy Dave will be put in smash
- one of you will be randomly picked to be the worlds super hero but you will have powers that only slightly help you in everyday tasks
- 5 of you are now on my wall (picture or your body I don't mind)
- small droplets of rain will drip on everyones head at a random time then disappear just to ♥♥♥♥ with everyone
- Lies by CHVRCHES is now a certified hood classic
- everyone will now grow an amazing beard and those who do not want the beard need to return it to my house (Please knock, my mum doesn't know you are coming)
- uranium is now replaced with the word urine. Urine is still an element but also now has an Atomic mass of 238.02270 cause the name change accidentally destroyed a few protons and neutrons, sorry.
- Spongebob Squarepants has now been archived
- ¡exclamation marks are now always spanish!
- student debt all across the world will be paid on my behalf, you are welcome
- snails are now immune to shoes
- Halloween will now be twice every year except leap years (the second Halloween is on the 31st of March)
- LGBTQ+ marriage is legal everywhere (side note: I will be your priest if you are getting married btw just call me first, i'm a busy man)
- whenever you hear a spring "Boing", you laugh
- Nazis are castrated and have no limbs
- no nude pics before gym, cant be working out with the bros after you touch yourself man, not cool we share that stuff
- all space stations orbit the other way
- everyone has the force (light side or dark side take your pick)

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