You catch his eye, from across the room you catch his eye
You think ‘oh my, he’s got quite the beard, oh my’
And now you want to but you can’t look away
His beard is black and bushy with a hint of grey
And now you find yourself walking his way
Hey hey

You should consider having sex with a bearded man
You’re getting these feelings that you can’t understand
(Sex with a bearded man)
You think you can’t but you can
Don’t try to fight, just get freaky with a beard tonight

Don’t be scared, his beard is soft to the touch, don’t be scared
You get some hair, in your mouth when you kiss him you get some hair
You’ve never been with a man like him before
But each time you look at that beard, you want it more
And now he’s asking you, ”my place or yours?”
Good lord

You are about to have sex with a bearded man
He rubs his bristles on your mammary glands
(Sex with a bearded man)
This wasn’t part of the plan
Don’t try to fight, just get freaky with a beard tonight

And now you grab him by his facial hair
He’s got some food stuck in his beard but you don’t care
You say “rub that beard on me everywhere”
Oh yeah

Now it appears you’re having sex with a bearded man
His sweaty beard is drips like a watering can
(Sex with a bearded man)
Just take your life in your hands, and ride that bearded man

And he’ll leave you with a glint in your eye
A bit of loose beard hair on your bedside
And some pash-rash between your thighs, oh my
Congratulations you’ve had sex with a bearded man