[The video opens with Christmas music with a shot of Old Location McGee with snow covering the roof, zooming into the window. It then cuts to Scott at his desk.]

Scott Wozniak: Hey all, Scott here! And do I ever have a beef with the National Calendar Society, months are opinions, not statements, so welcome to the month of Bluth!

[He turns a bit to the side, revealing his calendar for Bluth of 2017.]

Scott Wozniak: You see, I was always bummed there weren't a lot of holidays leading up to Christmas, December's just a month of filler with a climax at the very end. So I have effectively moved the first 23 days of Christmas into its own month, Bluth, with tons of new holidays!

[Cut to a close-up shot of the calendar, showing that its currently the 17th of Bluth, or Why is Scott Wearing That Hat? Day]

Scott Wozniak: Today just so happens to be Why is Scott Wearing That Hat? Day!

[Abruptly stops music and cuts to a shot of Scott wearing a straw hat and shrugging.]

Scott Wozniak: The only problem I have with the month of Bluth is that the last six days are reserved strictly for Empathy. So it looks like I have some time to kill before Christmas, and what better way to pass the time than to look through some mail!

[He reads a letter that reads "You're invited to... V.A.G", Scott's thumb is covering the abbreviation so he can't see it, "In the building next to the grey road".]

Scott Wozniak: I'm sold!