Recent reviews by <Haze>

Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to episode one of Jermacraft, the series where I play Minecraft.

This is gonna be a singleplayer let's play and when I say let's play I use that term... pretty loosely because I'm an idiot in this game - you're gonna see lots of fails, you're gonna see lots of triumphs, at least I'm hoping.

So go grab yourself a nice hot cup of coffee, hot cup of cocoa. I've got apple cider right here freshly brewed, let me take a sip.

sip

Ah that's good cider. Alright, so let's get this started - create new world.

World name is going to be... JermaCraft! Sounds about right, eh ok...

Game mode is going to be suurvii- survival, that's the most interesting I think.

More world options- seed for world generator ok this is important!

I gotta name this something crazy to get cool structures and stuff.

Gonna name it... umm... how about,

"DiamondsAreForever"

"LOL"

"cheese"

uh "BURGAH".

Alright, there's- that's our world generator seed, "DiamondsAreForeverLOLcheeseBURGAH"... Done!

Alright let's see what happens, create new world let's do it guys. 'Building terrain' oh my god this is so exciting this is episode one!

I wonder... I wonder where we're gonna end up... Where are we gonna end up?

Ok... what- what? Where the hell am I? I spawned on top of a mountain top! Ok hold on, sound has to be lowered, definitely...

Mkay, a lil' bit of that, a lil' bit of that... maybe a little lower! That sounds about right. Alright!

So, uh, apparently I spawned on top of a mountain... I kinda- this is a good seed!

What's that? We're going to explore it right now - GO!

dies from fall damage

Oh! jerma laugh

... Heheheh... Alright we're going to try that again. This time I'm not gonna miss... I wanna get down to tha- that's the home right there, I wanna live right there.

Don- I don't even have to explore, see if I can't do this... I gotta, hold on... I got an idea, I got a plan.

JermaCraft episode one, this is how we do it! You guys ready? I don't know if you- I don't know if you guys are actually really ready for this!

Here we go! I'm going for a skydive. Remember if you hold shift you don't fall off... That's something I didn't know when I used to livestream this game...

wheeze Heh heh! You guys ready? Ready to go see our new home?

jerma laugh

Alrighty then... What the hell is that? Oh it's an octopus... Look at this quaint little place... I love it already! Heh heh! Alrighty...

So- oh.. exhalation I'm so stupid! Y'see I'm- this is why... this is why I'm an idiot guys... y'see, why would I... I need to get wood! And I just jumped off th- ok...

Remember this... Where are we, pointing east? I have no idea.

Gotta get some trees... That's the most important part of Minecraft you gotta get trees, that's the first thing you gotta get.

Lemme take a sip of my apple cider...

sipping sounds

Oh that's good stuff!

Hopefully you guys picked up a thing of coco like I told you to because that's the most relaxing thing in the world, sitting down, playing videogames... doesn't get much better than that.

Ah ok, c'mon now! Oooh, we got sand too! Now, explain this to me alright?

Alright I want Notch to send me a personal email, and explain to me why there are cows that are acting like Mountain Lions...

I'm gonna kill each one of those cows in just a minute, you watch.

fall damage

Ow... Well at least there's one tree over here... Gotta remember, I gotta go back that way, cause that's where the, the house is gonna be... My awesome dirt house!

So if you are an OLD subscriber, I mean really old, like at least four months ol- month- four... ffweehh four or five months. You'll remember the original JermaCraft it was like two episodes...

And I built a dirt house. This is gonna be completely different I'm going to actually spend time... and make some cool stuff. At least that's what I'm pretending that I'm gonna say that.

Got some wood... aw I got Geno still (his Minecraft skin) from Mario RPG, one of the best games of all time. If you have never played Mario RPG I suggest you play it.

Alright, got some wood, I need more trees over here I can... dig up. I'll get this one too.

excruciatingly slow wood punching

One more and we'll make our way back.

more wood punching

So I guess they added a hunger feature now too if- if you're hungry, you... you die? ... Or something, I guess? Who knows?

even more wood punching

Little bit more wood... And in my livestreams I- I was, always a tradition that when I played this game I would sing a song when things got really boring.

So that seems like the perfect opportunity right now to sing a song, so uh lemme just prep my vocal chords for a second...

sips apple cider

clears throat

Ok... So we're getting wood right now right?

(In Jazz Tune) doodoo, doo doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo doo dooo doo doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doo (kh), doooo.

We're chopping wood down!

(kh) doodoo, doo (kh).

Every single day...

(kh) doo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo.

I gotta get my tools!

(tch) m'doo (kh)

Any which way.

(tch) doodoo, (kh) doo, (kh) doooo doo doo.

I can't seem to reach this stupid piece of wood, so I gotta put some blocks down to get where I should...

I'mgonnachopem.

(tch) d'dnn, (tch) nhh, (tch) nhhh~

I'm gonna chop right now.

nhh, (tch) nhh, (tch) doooonnnh~ doodooonnh~ doon, (tch) doon, (tch)

fall damage

Alright that's enough... Got it! Let's get the hell outta here! Yaaay!~ splash So those of you that don't think that's gonna be a good spot- you'll see...

I'm gonna build that up to be like a castle! So here's the goal... by Christmas time of this year, 2011, I wanna have... a giant castle like as big as that, uhh, that mountain over there...

begins breaking blocks

So let's clean this up a little bit. Why don't we huh? Yeah alright, alright! ... Maybe put a little bit of dirt down here... Make sure I can y'know...

D- did I really run out of dirt? Wonderful... My first wooden tools. It's just like going to your first day of school... And get, punched in the face by the bully...

Speaking of bullies... I got a funny story for you. First ever story on JermaCraft! While I do this mundane stuff.

So... when I was like in the fourth grade, there was a kid that lived down the street from me, his name will- will stay anonymous, because... y'know I don't want him to like- if he watches these videos- I don't want him to come, like, beat me up.

Not that he would ever remember this to begin with... but I- I was probably like the fourth grade... And eh, swallows I was a little S-word guys I was a little- I was a little... little jerk when I was younger.

So essentially what happened, was- this kid, he was a big, big, fat kid: scary, not very nice. And my brother got in like a fight with him, like a looong time before this v- when I was like the second grade my brother's a little bit older than me...

And lemme pick this up.

So my brother got in a fight with this kid and... and... and like I heard about it. And so at the bus stop one day, cause we were at the same bus stop because he lives right down the street from us. At leas- at least he did, I don't know if he does anymore.

So... I dunno why- I was in the fourth grade this so much of a little jerk I was. So my grandmother used to pick me up from school, after I got from the bus stop...

Because y'know obviously you don't wanna walk- y'know, the mile and a half back to your house or whatever it is, mile... Cause the bus stop wasn't that close.

So my grandma used to pick me up, and he was at the bus stop as well, and one day I decided that out of the back window, I was going to give him a double middle finger, as I was driving with my grandmother one day.

I dunno why- I don't even know why I did it guys I can't- I can't tell you one reason why I gave this kid the double middle finger. And from that day forward, he just kinda gave me the w- like a weird look like "What? The hell are you doing?"

And from that day forward I would RUN. RUN, as fast as I

this is an amazing game, i hate it and will play all of it

pros:

many typo with not good grammar

will kil your brain if you read it and then rewire it

"It's basically like a standup routine but several hours long, only instead of the joke part there is have mispellings instead, those are like jokes" -the game itself

"its called pizza game, i should lower my expectations" -my friend who i stream this game to

"this is the best and worst game i have ever played" -that same friend moments later

"somebody will buy it, some stupid idiot will buy it" -my other friend who i stream this game to who is using a soundboard to add to my review

cons:

sensei route

may be haunted

bones