I am a Minion trapped in a man's body. I'm not sure how I can come out like this, or how to even fabricate my unorthodox emotions into words. But here goes; I am a minion. Every morning I meet up with my friends, and say "bello". The looks of despair I am greeted with mixed with the utmost disgust upsets me deeply. Just because I speak minionease. I look in the mirror and shed a tear as I wish I was 4 feet smaller, and had only 1 eye. Kevin, Stuart and even Bob to an extent have always been role models of mine due to how well they act and the humor they exhibit. Please don't be a hater and say that I am a troll punk, because even us minions have feelings too.

please stop putting pipe bombs in my oven

we're rich!
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿
⠀⢠⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⣻⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢋⣥⣾⣿⣿⠟
⠀⣼⣿⣿⢿⡟⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⢛⣥⣶⡿⠛⢋⡤⡴⠁
⢸⣿⣿⣿⢛⣵⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⠄⡀⢐⣺⣿⣥⡖⠄⠘⠋
⠀⠈⠛⠻⠛⠁⢈⣁⣤⢴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠄⢠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠛⠃
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉

⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣬⣻⢿⣿⣿⡦
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠛⠁
⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀
⠀⢀⡠⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀
⠰⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠇⠀⠠⠿⠿⠏⠀⠀

straight!

omgg mommmmyyyy

omg hi mommy please step on me ive been a very bad little piggy please punish me mommy im mommy's little piss pig paypig i pay mommy milkers to get better ♥♥♥♥ than i could ever with my micropenis :((( i love watching mommy step all over me and punish me like the bad wittle kitten i am >w<

-rep body blocked me at a window and got me killed :( fake friend

Is it I, YandereDick. I have an important announcement to make. Yes, development began 6 years ago. But my sperm is much more ambitious and complex than an average ♥♥♥. The premise itself may seem straightforward, but the number of sperms and volume of my ♥♥♥ is comparable to that of a ♥♥♥ lord. It's unrealistic to expect ♥♥♥ like this to reach the optimization stage in less than 6 years, simply due to the unusually large volume and sperm count of the ♥♥♥, coupled with the fact that it's mostly being developed by a single testicle. Nobody can accurately estimate how long it should take to reach the egg, because there isn't a pre-existing ejaculation that my ♥♥♥ can be compared to.

Babe, I’m breaking up with you. it’s not you, you were poggers. It’s me, I’m omegalul. I’m sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, I’ve just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it’s time to end it, no kappa.

*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.

-rep wouldn't give me 10k for my pyramid scheme, i mean what kinda friend doesn't support the homies ?

+rep joined my right wing death squad

+rep good med

-rep hates jews

┈┈┈╱╱
┈┈╱╱╱▔
┈╱╭┈▔▔╲
▕▏┊╱╲┈╱▏
▕▏▕╮▕▕╮▏
▕▏▕▋▕▕▋▏thpell icup
╱▔▔╲╱▔▔╲╮┈┈╱▔▔╲
▏▔▏┈┈▔┈┈▔▔▔╱▔▔╱
╲┈╲┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╱▔▔▔
┈▔╲╲▂▂▂▂▂╱
┈┈▕━━▏

when i was a fetus i took a ♥♥♥♥, so send nudes ♥♥♥♥♥!

when i was a fetus i took a ♥♥♥♥, so send nudes ♥♥♥♥♥!

"Its that Sakura profile picture?" - Diop

Happy Easter! ;))

happ bir

HBD

Happy B day, just saw this.

bruhhh

Happy new Years!

★˛˚˛*˛°.˛*.˛°˛.*★˚˛*˛°.˛*.˛°˛.*★*★* 。*˛.
˛°_██_*.。*./ ♥ \ .˛* .˛。.˛.*.★* *★ 。*
˛. (´• ̮•)*.。*/♫.♫\*˛.* ˛_Π_____.♥ ♥ ˛* ˛*•*´¨`*•.¸ ¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸
.°( . • . ) ˛°./• '♫ ' •\.˛*./______/~＼*. ˛*.。˛* ˛.*。 ℋappy ℋolidays ♪
*(...'•'.. ) *˛╬╬╬╬╬˛°.｜田田 ｜門｜╬╬╬╬╬*˚´¨*•.¸¸.•*´ ¨`*•.¸¸.•*

Merry Christmas friend! Don't let the internet kill your Christmas Spirit.

I'm still here idiot

-Rep After a good game in tf2, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great tf and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a tf2 lan party with froyo. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then airshot him. Turns out he was b4nny. Don't trust this guy.

🅱OI 👦 IF YOU DON'T STOP ✋ WITH THOSE CONFLICTING ⚔ OPINIONS 🗯 I'MMA HAVE TO KICK 👢 YOU OUT ❌

Pyro update comes out 10/15

+rep drops 3 times but we still accidentally got a teams demo cut because we pounded so much

Q: Whats the difference between a ginger and a brick? A: At least a brick gets laid.

watch out everyone this person is a ginger

haha youre a ginger

Bro Im good

orange is a fruit not a color

haha ur a ginger

another thing u can call your ♥♥♥♥ is "wallie" bcuz he is one xD!!!!1

-rep isnt homophopic

+Rep is good in bed and is pregnant with my son

+rep sexy picture

❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
If you get back 5 you're beautiful. ..
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤

hy hi, could you please talk to me? I am your HL match up for UGC week 5 of steel. I posted a requested change of time. Could youi please accept? the time is currently 6:00 pm on Sunday

hy hi, could you please talk to me? I am your HL match up for UGC week 5 of steel. I posted a requested change of time. Could youi please accept? the time is currently 6:00 pm on Sunday

hy hi, could you please talk to me? I am your HL match up for UGC week 5 of steel. I posted a requested change of time. Could youi please accept? the time is currently 6:00 pm on Sunday

-rep millionaire

hello! sorry for scare, but just notice profile on the Steam Community. you know how hard it are to find girls who play video game nowadays??? well, Im glad I stumble apon this little prof cause I gotta say.... ur prety cute!! ^ ((sorry for scare, no trouble ) well... I was wondering if u wanted to play tf2 with me (Im a plat sniper, so I can carry my little princes if need. =-}) CUZ I really want someone to pub wit me.. hey hey, maybe even I could get you unusual as little gift. you like Buring? Me too, me too. anyways any, do you maybe have Skype? (no scare. no scare, I iust like meating eye to eye.) if we skype, I think we could have some good buddy commucation. :)) ( i can even turn down my dubstep music in the background if you want...) add me if you want please, I jsit need friend maybe even girlfriend, to play video with.m I can be the perfect guy for you, trust!! ill buy whatever, do whatever, okay?? jsit pick up that phone and CALL. :)

Things to call your ♥♥♥♥:

Baby Injector
Kinder Surprise
Black Box
Cat Toy
Jiff Challenge Victim
Ballsack Blaster
Cervix Pounder
Baby Gravy Squirter
Fun-Size Super Soaker
Scandalis Schlong
Master Sword
Wii Remote
Mechanicel Pencil
Nap Time Massacer
Pool Noodle
Slipery Clarinet
Chef Boyardee Baguet
Shake Weight
5-Pounder
The Log
Police Brutality
Black Persons Bane
Donald Trump
Stickshift (Ask her "can you drive a stickshift")
Jeffery
Rusty Pipe
Plug and Play Controller
Joystick
Ding-Dong
Pleasure Stick

Stupid man who gambles all his money