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POST THIS ON SOMEONES WALL IF THEY FOUGHT AND DIED WITH YOU IN VIETNAM
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　　　( (　`´︶´¯`︶´`´︶︶´*★ 　^v^　 ┊❅　 °☆ . 　 ☆ :. ☆ 　　　
　　　　　 ) ) 　⦅‖ ͇͇ ͇͇▃▇͇͇͌̿̿⌂͇͇▌..*　★　　☆ . 　 ★ ^v^ 　°　❅ 　☆ . 　 ★ ^v^ 　°　　
　　　__̅̏̏̏̏̋̋̏̏▅̅̏̏̏̋̏_ ╱◥███████╲　ˆ...^v^ ˆˆ︵.︵...^v^︵¸ ❅　 ° ╱◥◣ 　☆ . *　★　*　　
　　　╱◥◣ ◥████◣▓∩▓∩║ 　 MERRY CHRISTMAS &　│∩ │◥███◣ ╱◥███◣　
　　　│╱◥█◣║∩∩∩ ║╲◥███╲ 　 HAPPY HOLIDAYS ╱◥◣ ◥████◣▓∩▓│∩　
　　　││∩│ ▓ ║∏ 田║▓ 田田 ▓ ∩║ ii--ii--ii--i--i--ii--ii--ii--ii │╱◥█◣║∩∩∩ ║◥█▓ ▓█　
　　☸๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩„„„„„„„„☸„„„„„„„☸„„„„„„„☸๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩๑๑۩　

I think I've got COVID-19
I’m freaking out someone from the contact tracing just called me and told me I need to isolate myself immediately because they found out one of the new symptoms of the virus is being too sexy and having a thick juicy ass. Send this to five hoes u think might be infected

🎓 college majors 🎓 🏫 🏫
you, my roommate: Hey can I jump in the shower real quick?

me, a CS major: shower? No time to shower 💦 gotta finish this pieceOfCode ⌨️📱🕹 hold on I just made this shower app that calculates exactly how long 🏃I can go without showering before someone calls 🗣🙅🏻 me out for making them bring air fresheners 🍐🍎🍒🍋 to the computer lab 💻🖥 but when I get that internship in Seattle 🏙☕️ it will all be worth it and I will SHOWER in this MONEY💸💳💎 ♥️ Taken by Zucc ♥️ 02/2004 😇Microsoft 0:1 💒

you: Did you see the latest episode of-

me, a political science major: How could you watch television 📺 at a time like this?? Don't you realize that Donald Trump👌🏻 🤡👌🏻 is a unique threat 💥💥💥 to our 🇺🇸Democracy🇺🇸? You should check out the Washington Post and Politico - maybe read up on some 5️⃣3️⃣8️⃣ statistics! Anyways I'm too busy ⏱ to watch tv, I spend my time staying informed with Rachel Maddow 💁🏻‍♂️and I'm trying to get an internship on 🏛the Hill🏛with my uncle, the Congressman. #ImStillWithHer

you: how was your day?

me, a music major: doo 🎷ba 🎺de 🎷ba 🎺da da, ba 🎻doo de 🎹da za, 🎻bee pa 🎸dee pa 🎺ba pa da 🎸na 🎸zwa 🥁pa 🎷doo daaa



you: Can you stop at the store for me?

me, an urban planning major: stop? 🙅 I only stop to plant trees 🌲🌳🌿🌱 and to school you on zoning laws 🏣🏡🏬🏢🕍🕌🏫 no gentrification on my watch tho 🙅🙅👏👏 Jane Jacobs 2:1 🌳🌿👏

you: hey do you want to hang out tonight? Or wait, do you have practice?

me, a theatre major: practice🙅🙅🚫 No, I have REHEARSAL🤣🤗♪♫♬Acting🎭Dancing💃Singing🎶🎤 I am a TRIPLE ⚂😉😉😉 THREAT😲😮 Future Broadway Star💥💫✨ Bernadette Peters is my QUEEN🌈👑



you: How are you?

me, a law major: how am I? 😤😤😤 dead inside 💀☠️👻😨😢 but you know what I won't be after I graduate 🤑🤑🎓 because I'm gonna get that job at my uncles firm 🚬💳💸💰 John Marshall 3:4 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙏🏻

you: wanna go see a movie this weekend

me, an English major: A movie? 😮🎞 No thank you. 😊✨ I’ll be at home 🏡 curled up with a cup of tea and a book. 🍵📚❤ Reading is my escape, 💫 and the halls of Hogwarts 🏰 ⚡️and the fields of Camp Half-Blood ⛰ 🌊 are my home. 😊❤️ Magic is still real 😮👌 if you READ, 🍵📚🍵📚🍵📚🍵📚🍵📚 and I also have to wash my cardigans 😊👕 Chaucer

You: hey what class are you taking for your English requirement

Me, an engineer: English 📚? Liberal Arts📔📒📓? No thanks 😡😡😡 🔭STEM🔬 for me 😋😋😋. Science 🔬Technology 💡Engineering ✏and Math 📈 is all I need 👌!!! 🔥Elon Musk🔥 is my 💥H💥E💥R💥O💥, one day I'll work 60 hour weeks ⌚, and I'm gonna rake in the 💰CA💲H💰. Liberal 👀 arts 👀 majors don't understand ⚠ THE GRIND ⚠, I'll sleep 💤 when I'm 🚨DEAD 🚨 , if you aren't learning 💡engineering✔ then you aren't learning 🙅🙅🙅. Technology is 🚩APOLITICAL🚩

You: Hey, wanna hang out and watch Star Wars?

me, a physics major: Movies? 🎥 I don't 🙅🏼❌🚫 have time ⏰🕰⌛️ for watching 👀 fake sci-fi movies 🎞📺. I'm a physics major 👨🏻‍🔬🔭🔬and all I watch ⌚️ is YouTube videos ⏯ where my hero 😍😍😍 famed astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson 👨🏾‍🚀👨🏾‍🚀👨🏾‍🚀 explains 🗣🗣🗣 why SciFi 🤖🤖🤖👽👽👽 films 🎞 are scientifically inaccurate 😤 and physically impossible 🤦🏻‍♂️. If you need me, 💁🏻💁🏻 I'll be drawing 📓📝✏♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥body diagrams 📐, ♥♥♥♥-talking liberal arts 🎭🤹‍♂️👨🏻‍🎨🎨 students on Reddit, 👨‍💻👨‍💻👨‍💻, listening 👂🏻 to my favorite 🖤🖤 podcast, Science Vs, 👊👊 and unlocking 🔐🔓 the secrets 🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐 of the universe 🌎🌚🌝💥☀️💫. Gotta blast! 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀

you: sure is hot today

me, a history major: it was far 🔥🔥🔥hotter🔥🔥🔥 during the great fire of London, but you wouldn't know that because you spend so much time focusing on the ⏰🆕📡📲future that you forget to look ⬅️back to the past and 💆🏻‍♂️understand your place in the context of 🏰🏯🏟🌋🏭🗿🗺mankind!!

you: I'm excited to pursue a career related to my major.

me, a general studies major: Haha bro 👦🏻 you think you're going to have a career? You're nothing🚫! So you took 'academically engaging classes' in 🏘college? Bah! Well let me ask you this - did you play on any ⛹🏻🤽🏻‍♂️🏊🏻varsity teams? I didn't think so. I'll be 🏀shooting 3️⃣ threes and spiking 🏐 balls on the 🏖 beach til' the day I die, raking in the 💸dough and the 🔥hot 👱🏼‍♀️babes, while you're slowly 👵🏻 decomposing in your 🏚 office cubicle. Be sure to turn on 📺 ESPN in a few years, because you'll see my face 👨🏻on the big screen giving you a big fat 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻finger

you: Time to buy dinner

me, an econ major: hah the marginal 🤤utility you get from that taco 🌮 is less than the market price so you better change your 💸💵💰consumer preferences or else face a monetary 📉 loss and 💳have to take out a loan! Don't worry, Adam 😳😰 Smith told me that anyone can 🛥🏦🏡🏎make it in America if they ⚒🛠have enough capital and labor 👨🏻‍💼👨🏻‍🌾👨🏻‍⚕️👷🏻 so before you spend your wealth make sure you invest 📈📊in a 807-G PQS account to get that sweet 📋🗒💕compound interest!

you: can u pass the salt

me, a business major: actually I don't have the time to be giving out 🤑🙃 free handouts 🚫💸😷 and participation trophies 🙅🏆 to people who don't deserve it 💅🏼💆 every day is a ⚠️ GRIND ⚠️, you should check out 💥📚Tai Lopez 🙌🏼🙎🏻‍♂️👍🏼, he really inspired me to start my own data driven 📊 paradigm shifting 🌊 digital marketing 💻👾 consulting company 📈💰😤 by the way, can you share us on facebook? we only have 52 likes

you: Hey did you hear that 24 million people might lose their healthcare?

me, a graphic design major: Don't you realize 💡🙇‍♀️🙇💡 that graphic design 🖋🌀can change the world?? 🌎 i believe that ✍️🖥 sleek posters 🖨 🖼, 🆒 apps 📱, and innovative 🔋brands 🛍📊 can fix ⚙️🔧 anything and change 📈 anyone's 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👩‍👩‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👦‍👦 perspective 🛣. you might think 👩‍🎓 i'm just 🖱🖱🖱 clicking away ⌛️ in the local starbucks ☕️🍪, but i am actually 💁💁‍♂️ solving 📐📝 real world issues 🏙🌋 with design 💻. just wait ⏰ until you see 👀 the buttons 🔴🔵⚪️⚫️ and stickers 🔳🔲◻️ i will be selling 💸🏷 this weekend 🍸🗓 with an illustration of 🍊 trump 🍊 as a pile of 💩💩. and no 🙅🙅‍♂️ you 🚫 can't 🚫 have one for 🆓

you: I love you 💕

me, a film major: ok 👌 but like Romeo 🙎‍♂️and Juliet 🙋 or more like Harry 🤦🏻‍♂️and Sally 🤦‍♀️ or orson welles 👴🏻 and rosebud 🌹 please 🙏 clarify because I'm like Abed 🤷🏽‍♂️ from Community 👨‍⚖️ 🙎🏼🙎🏽‍♂️🙋🏾‍♂️🙎🏾🙍🏻👴🏻 and I can only feel ❤️ things through movie 🎬 and tv 📺 references



you: hey should i get this in green or yellow

me, a molecular bio major: green 🍏 over yellow 🍋 every time 😤😤😤 that's what daddy 👅💦👍🏼 gregor mendel said 🗣🗣🗣in his pea experiments 🌱🌱🌱 we out here 💪🏼 transcribing 🤓 DNA ➡️ to RNA ➡️ to protein 🍗 start at AUG ▶️🔜🏃 and we don't quit 🛑 until we hit the stop codon ❌❌❌ i'm a powerhouse ⚡️⚡️⚡️ just like the mitochondria ⭐️😂 breaking ⛔️⛔️⛔️down barriers 💢😤 like the enzymes 💦 in lysosomes ⚗️💉🔬 fixing your 😡 mistakes 😵 like DNA polymerase I 🔨👍🏼😜 in the lab 👩‍🔬👨‍🔬🐁 🐀all day every day 😫😵😏 replication 5': 3' 👏🏼 🔀 F2 generation 1:2:1 🌸😎🌱 gel electrophoresis

stop sign: stop

me, a linguistics major: the only 🚫 stop 🚫 i know are plosives 💥 and nasal 👃 stops‼️ but i'm more a 🌬fricative🌬 cause fricatives don't ❌ stop ❌❌❌ that's how ladefoged 👅👀👍 wants it 👄 don't tell me 😡 to stop 😡 i do what I want 😤😤😤 i'm an atelic verb phrase 😫😩 you can't end me 💪 i keep going 🚶👊 no matter what the haters say 💁💁 chomsky 😧

🤝Meet🤝the👷Engineer👷
🎵🎵Hey 👀look👀, buddy, 👁I'm👁 an 👷Engineer👷. 👈That👈 😡means😡 👁I👁 🔎solve🔍 problems. ❌Not❌ problems 👍like👍 "What is 🌺beauty?🌺🤔🤔🤔", because 👈that👈 would 🍂fall🍂 within the purview of ⛎your⛎ ❓conundrums❓ of 🤔philosophy🤔. 👁I👁 🔎solve🔍 practical problems. 💥💥💥 👊Heavy👊: 😱😱😱 Fr'instance, How am 👁I👁 going 2️⃣ 🛑stop🛑 some big 😡mean😡 👩mother👩 hubbard from tearing 👉me👈 🅰️ 🏠structurally🏠 superfluous 🆕new🆕 🍑behind🍑?🤔🤔🤔 The 💡answer💡...🎵🎵 💥💥💥 👟Scout👟: 😱😱😱 🎵🎵...use 🅰️ 🔫gun.🔫 And if 👈that👈 ❌don't❌ work.... 💥💥💥 ...use more 🔫gun.🔫 💥💥💥 ❓Unknown❓ Assailant🤔🤔🤔: 👉My👈 💪arm💪

Ok, mom, firstly, you need to understand that this isn't porn, all right? It's called "hentai". Yes, that's a Japanese phrase, I'm learning Japanese from these videos. Before I get to the part about learning Japanese, though, let me first comment on the cultural implications of hentai. After the second world war

Let's say, hypothetically, your mom was wearing a yellow raincoat. Now, also in this scenario, there is a man needing to get home. When he sees your mom, he will yell "taxi, taxi!". Now, why does he do this? The answer is actually quite simple. Your mom is so fat she is the size of a taxi, and the yellow raincoat she is theoretically wearing is the same color as a taxi. Therefore, the man mistakes her for a taxi. So, what has this hypothetical scenario shown us? It has shown us that your mom is very, very, fat. Boom! Once again destroyed with facts and logic.

Thank you my man x

+rep good friend and good player

☆ 𝓜𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓒𝓱𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓶𝓪𝓼 ☆

˛*.。˛*˛.*☆҉ *.˛★ ˛*.。˛* ˛. *☆҉ *. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *☆҉
°*_██_*.。*/.*˛\ .˛* .˛。.˛.*.★**★ 。* . *☆҉
˛. (´• •)*.. .*/♫.♫\*˛. * ˛_Π_____.♥*.*☆҉ ˛**. ˛*.。˛. *☆҉
.°( . • .) °../• '♫ ' •\.˛*./______/~＼*. ˛*.。˛* ˛*.。˛* ˛. *☆҉
*(...'•'.. ) *˛╬╬╬╬╬˛°.｜田田 ｜門｜╬╬╬╬╬*˚*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *☆
¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯` ´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*
•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*•.¸.•*´❄`*•.
(☆*✦✦ℳerry ℭhristmas & A ℋappy 2019✦✦ *☆ )
*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*´*•.✩.•*

+rep Baa

+rep Girlfriend material

Merry Merry

Isaac, no, why

Hi! Few things to start off with =] 1. Yes I added you because you're a female gamer, 'tis and awesome thing to see! 2. I'm Brian. 3. Don't be intimidated, but I'm not like a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen =D

wait, wait, wait.... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_O Not to be a freak, but.. just when I thought you couldn't get more attractive.. you started playing video games. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol.

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you :wink: sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

Minus rep- made me lose easy win

There once was a man called~~~ wakey wakey it's day brakey!

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Merry Christmas

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why did i get a notification for this tf xD vvvvv

Same.

my name jeff

JOKES ON YOU I HAVE ONE TOO!

HEART OF THE NIN-KEN DOG!!!

I know right! So gooood :D

Well done on featuring the greatest group on Steam

IFHSJFVSDJVLVSJKDVBLSKDHVdfafsdafnuHASHkhklnLKJNADF

o_____________________________________________________o

:o

No. You are offensive.

Mímhúinte