Diogenes of Sinope (or Diogenes the Cynic) yelled at peasants, rolled around in a barrel, and jerked off publicly between 412 and 323 BC.

In a conversation with Alexander the great, Alexander said "If I were not Alexander the Great, I would wish to be Diogenes." In hearing this, Diogenes replied "if I were not Diogenes, I too, would wish to be Diogenes".

Pretty much a ninja turtle but better. Definitely the most based philosopher of ancient Greece, maybe of all time.

"In a rich man's house, there is nowhere else to spit but his face"
-Diogenes "The Dog" of Sinope

The path of Diogenes, also known as the ultimate Sigma grindset.

What, you ask, was the sole possession of our hero Diogenes? A Bowl! When Diogenes witnessed a boy at a river's edge, cupping water in his hands to drink, his reaction was "Oh my! I am too attached to my worldly possessions". And he threw the bowl away, cupping his hands to drink water (and probably soup too) for the remainder of his life.

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Just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ touch grass.