I am A Giraffe, but I'm not an average giraffe. I am a genetically superior giraffe who was made in a lab deep in the jungles of Kenya. As a young giraffe, still in my egg, I would sometimes gaze out the window wishing to be free. I would see those young Kenyanites running in the sun and never getting sunburns. They never got sunburn because they were black, not because they put on sunscreen. Eventually I hatched from my egg and gradually grew bigger and stronger. As I grew older, I realized I wasn't your average giraffe. I had opposable thumbs and I was very intelligent (by giraffe standards). The Kenyanite scientists were very proud of themselves and they taught me how to fight and were planning to make an unstoppable army of fighting giraffes. Sadly for them, after my training was complete, I took a M60 from the training course and shot them all into ground beef. After I got all my anger out and fulfilled my dream of being free, I took one of the scientist's PCs and found a nice tree in the luxurious plains of Kenya to play under. Ever since, I have been playing Steam games in my free time using a solar panel I made out of some crystal meth I found on one of the scientists dead bodies. It is simply all a genetically superior giraffe with extreme fighting skills could do.