Recent reviews by Dewfus

Inhales

BROTHER

I like this one because one day, you decide you don't want to live anymore and go on another mortal-life-long mission to complete each game, finding new purpose for life in your attempt to die.

Then, just as you're about to best the last game, the final collectible in your grasp, you look around, and somewhat reluctantly close the game.

You step away from your computer for the first time in years, desk surrounded by filth and trash. You walk out of your room to see the seaside ranch home you purchased after your third-lifetime as a successful musician--whose career was cut short by a tragic diving accident and your body never recovered--untouched by the years.

You walk around your extravagant home. Attend to all the collectibles an immortal life has brought you, material possessions filling your home. No, your house. This hasn't been a home in years.

You decide to go outside, your age and physical status that of an active 30-something, even though you're well over 200 years old. Your first walk in decades.

Is it really time? Has that day come? What was the rest of the world like? What year was it? Does it matter? You want to die, don't you?

You make it back to the house around dawn. It's cold on the coast this time of year, but the weather has never fazed you, not even when you did that river float in Alaska with only your backpack and a small raft. You're not hungry, though you never have been before, even though you studied under Italy's top chefs just over 50 years ago. You don't feel like sleeping, even though you haven't in about a decade.

So what do you want to do?

You sit back at your desk as the sun begins to rise over the ocean, a large window specifically facing east--a very important detail two lifetimes ago when you had this place built. How many sunrises have you seen now?

It doesn't really matter, does it? The past thousand or so have only fueled the drive to finish those thousand games. What do you want to do? You ask yourself this, a question you've previously had no problem answering. But now..

You slouch in your chair and look down at your shirt, something you'd imagine would be in a worse state by now, having not changed for god knows how long. You sit as the sun rises. The light shines on your face. As you glare against the sun, ready to close the curtains as you've done countless times before.

And it hits you. The sun on your face, muscles activated after so long. You feel it. You're ready. This is the lifetime culmination you've been working toward for so long. It's this moment. You boot up the game, reload the save, and prepare yourself.

You print off the letter you prepared in Word 2000. Or was it 2020? Oh well. Someone would eventually find this place and would want to know what happened to this man who lived a hundred lives.

You lay the letter down on the table in your foyer. You wouldn't want someone to walk in and see whatever lies behind your bedroom door unprepared. Hundreds of years of life can't culminate into a pretty death.

You find your way back to your desk. The sun is shining now, but that's ok. For some reason, it feels good today. Today is a new day, and tomorrow.. tomorrow, that will finally not be the case.

You look at the screen. The hidden easter egg sitting just in front of you. Just one button from no tomorrow. It's time.

You reach out and grab it. 100/100 collectibles found. You sit back. Smile. The time has come. You're ready.

The game flourishes it's congratulations, but.. nothing happens. This can't be.. This was supposed to be the moment. You save, close the game, and go to Steam. "100% Completion" This was supposed to be it.

What could have gone wrong?

You pour over the list in your library. A list you haven't checked in years after installing each and every game when you decided to make this final push. 18TB of every type of game on Steam imaginable.

You check the list. Games: 1094. Installed: 1093.

You spend the next 15 minutes checking for that one grayed out name. The one thing standing between you and your final choice.

Bad Rats. A gag gift from your friend that cost $0.13 during the Steam Summer Sale back in 2013. You remember the exact inscription from all those years ago.

"Now this ♥♥♥♥ game will be in your library forever. Cheers, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. --Titus"

You sit back, and you cry. You cry because you can't manage anything else, the first feeling in what must be decades. You laugh, you stand up and throw your chair to the ground, tears of joy streaking your face. It feels so incredible. So intoxicating.

After the shock settles, the realization hits.

Do you really want to die? You sure as hell don't want to play Bad Rats. No. Maybe this life needs one more chance.

You made it worth it before, didn't you? You took a step back and decided what you were going to make your life out to be, you committed to it, your life, to love, to experience. You can do it again.

You click the start button on your desktop. Your home screen one of your photographs from one of your many world tours. India. Maybe that's where you'll start. Who knows where? Who cares? It doesn't really matter, does it?

You click shut down.

GLaDOS is waifu

What can I say, great to pop in, make rivals, kick ass, do cowboy stuff, all without serious stuff like microtransactions and pressure to play more. Just in and out whenever you wish. And the servers aren't dead, either!

Its broken. Crashes after intro. Don't waste your money.

I love this game because you can finally be a police officer. You, the only cop in town, have the authority and people listen to you! While you do the normal missions, dispatch can call you for various emergencies. YOU HAVE TO SLEEP AT LEAST 8 HOURS EACH NIGHT IN ORDER FOR THEM TO KEEP CALLING! Taking two gunshots can get you killed, so gunfights are especially nerve-wracking. Sometimes if you pull over a person and they run, you have to draw your tazer and press C to make them stop.

There are also realism factors like turn signals, the warning horn, and others. You have to shut off your engine to exit the car, but once you reach 12mph or lower you can press R, the car will stop, and you get out.

Love this game and love that the Devs are still working on it!