Recent reviews by A goblin army is approaching…

I installed it after 10 years which should say how fun this is. Arcade shooter, you boot it up every now and then to shoot at stuff. Recommend!

...AKA How To Cut Onions Without Hurting Yourself

If you hate reading as much as I do, you can watch a video review instead! Hurray Democracy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l81b7tgRVEE


Dead by Daylight is truly the epitome of gaming. Before you think I’m being sarcastic Brave Gamers, let me explain my latest sentence. This game combines everything there is about video gaming as a whole. It is a fun game by itself, but almost more importantly it is fresh and innovative and neigh genre defining if you ask me.

The gameplay is sort of like an onion of simplicity and depth. After you tell one of your friends about this game, and reassure them that no, playing a horrible murderer on a killing spree does not make me more violent MOM(!), it is quite simple to understand that the game is not so much about killing, but rather a trial of sacrifice and escape. The simple game mechanics are then further fused with the countless number of build combinations you can equip your surivor or killer with, and the online element means that no two games are ever the same. However, and I don’t need to introduce you to this fact reader: The online element brings another disgusting disease into the equasion, by the common name of TOXICITY.


An onion is truly a great vegetable with a strong taste and a countless number of applications. On the other hand it is smelly and sometimes that taste is a little too strong for my taste. DBD manages to swing me in both directions towards love and hate every single time I play.
Now of course I’m a brand new player, a n00b by every meaning of the word, but that does not mean every single game should be painstakingly difficulty to do well in. I mostly played killer in my brief debut in DBD so I cannot tell you much about the survivor side, but man, did I experience the survivors on an existential level as a killer (who are supposedly on the "same" rank as me, a new player.)

After one or two fun matches trying to peel back that onion and learning a bit about the murdering profession, the stink of this magnificent fruit vegetable will be unbearable, creating a toxic cloud of internet anonimity. Survivors fellow DBD players call „Survivor Friends” who are generally on a voice chat outside the game have a massive advantage over your average run of the mill Dwights or Megs. Not only do these survivors tend to be STEAM friends, but they also seem to be extremely experienced and optimal at the game, and they never forget to quickly T-bag you after a nasty pallet drop. They also seem to carry flashlights and bodyblock your struggle to get to a hook. „A struggle you say 2SIDERS? Well shouldn’t the survivors struggle off of your manly shoulders when you are carrying them as a killer?” Not in this game, Reader.

Maybe this is some sort of a perverted justice reflecting on the real world, but here the viscious cannibal and the hillbilly are the ones that get bullied into ragequitting life. They say you need to have a thick skin to be a celebrity or online persona, well luckily DBD prepares you for just the occassion. After around 7 hours of playtime my skin is like rhinoceros and my girlfriend calls me BUBBA.


If you have anxiety of any shape or form or if you are a teddybear-boy type person in real life (don't worry I won’t tell anyone) do NOT pick this game up. If you do decide to play this or you’re still contemplating ruining your emotional health, there are special weekends when you can play this game for free.

Make sure to only buy it when it’s on sale every 2-3 months. A great pain of the gaming industry and this part deserves its own review, is the countless number DLC content with the game that you have to buy individually, If you want to make it big in the World of DeadbyDaylight otherwise known as WoB. You will have to buy each and every DLC.

At higher ranks you will need all the good killer perks to even have the chance of hooking one of the four Claudettes in your game even just once. As a starter, I recommend buying the game + the halloween DLC.

With that being said, in the conclusion of the conclusion...it's a fun game on its own, unfortunately poisoned by the human condition. Games like Dead by Daylight will never be fixed* by the developers; we're too deep down the rabbit hole to make any serious changes that wouldn't anger the Brave Gamers. The error lies in the basic game mechanics that sometimes encourage Camping, Tunneling and Bullying. As long as you don't feed the trolls and keep a nonchalant attitude about yourself, you will enjoy this game very very much.

If you hate reading check out my video review here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHhKM3jGJCs

Overall I have a lot of problems with PARKASAURUS, especially because the game is not fun when it's too easy.
After about 5-10 hours you WILL NOT WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME ANYMORE. It becomes a chore. If you want an actually challenging and fun Zoo game, pick up Zoo Tycoon 2 (2003 - 2008 version.) I've played that for thousands of hours and it's still fun.

I talked to the developers on Discord, but it's a bit annoying when you offer suggestions and someone else is like "Daddy, daddy, please add new dinosaurs and you know what would be good? Taking 3 months to redesign the digging so it's 3D!" and stuff like that.

Just Tweaking the numbers would be a good start. Money generation is easy.
Problems with the game that are already fixed or included in Zoo Tycoon 2:

- Digging gives too much money
- If you set Ticket + Food prices to max ($30.00) there is NO DRAWBACK. Guests are happy to pay whatever for a piece of hot dog.
- Dinosaurs don't have real behaviours
- Dinosaurs don't move around the exhibit
- Dinosaurs don't seek tall grass when their privacy need is high; they just stay near the food
- Dinosaurs constantly getting stuck even if you've made a ramp

- The game plays itself (you have to do f*ck-all)
- Spamming scientists with the 3x3 digging tool wins the game
- No breeding (yet)
- Dinosaurs can't die (from old age or when they haven't eaten for 4 million years).
- Dinosaurs are too cheap

- Controls are horrible
- Clicking on everything makes me have arthiritis
- Not enough keyboard shortcuts

- Perks that increase guests spending, donations, walk speed etc. win you the game
- No strategy involved, basically just sandbox mode with money

------------------------------------------------
SUGGESTIONS
- make digging cost money so people don't spam it every 5m
- maybe finding gems through digging?
- remove coins from digging
- increase digging cooldown

- make everything way more expensive or add difficulty levels in main menu
- add circle / rectangular fence tool like in ZT2
- add remove tools like in ZT2 which snap to object type
- add actual dinosaur behaviours like wander / rampaging

- remove the boring overpowered perks
- add new perks such as "When a guest eats a Burger or Hot Dog, increases Theropoda Donations by 30%"
- or eating salad increases Sauropoda donations etc.
- add functionality to dinosaur hats such as >> Winter Hat increases dino happiness in winter season or smth
- make it harder to acquire heart + science points
- add new quests that are actually fun and not just "Sell 15 hot dogs".
Zoo Tycoon 2 has some excellent Missions and Photo Missions. (some bs ones too)


Giving this game a positive, as I hope these will be fixed in the future, but as it seems they are adding fancy eye-candy stuff first and ignoring the main issues. You can pick up Zoo Tycoon 2: Ultimate Collection from Amazon for the same price, which contains the base game and all 4 expansions (and dinosaurs as well btw).

Saying "Parkasaurus is better than most recent Tycoon games" doesn't mean much lol
Zoo Tycoon (2017) and Jurassic World Evolution are both pretty bad when it comes to actually designing cool exhibits.

I picked this game up cheap on sale without having any experience in the franchise, but I had a ton of fun with it.
Never tried the singleplayer, but oh my gosh is playing with friends fun?
Of course we know you kill aliens and monsters in this game, but it gets so much better with multiple people. Going through each level makes you unlock newer and more powerful weapon and enemy types. You can go really crazy. Sometimes the game gets really difficult or easy, but you can choose from a wide variety of difficulties.

I've picked this game up on the STEAM sales and wasn't dissapointed.
At first you might think that it doesn't have much for it, and that after half an hour you'll be through with most of the variations. I can safely say it's not true, since I've been playing for hours and the story kept changing in sometimes subtle, sometimes major ways.
The game is so much more fun when you play it yourself, it becomes your personal adventure. They designed it so every time you walk through Stanley's doors and do something, the next time you'll be notified in some way.
I am really pleased with the creativity of the creators, and you can tell they spent a lot of time on the game.

Overall (if you can't already tell), I'm blown away by the ingenuity of The Stanley Parable.