1) Once you have payment, never give it back.
3) Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
7) Keep your ears open and your eyes on the prize.
8) Small print leads to large risk.
9) Opportunity + Instinct = Profit
16) A deal is a deal, until a better one comes along.
17) A contract is a contract is a contract, but only between traders.
47) Don't trust a man wearing better cosmetics than your own.
48) The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
57) Good customers are as rare as Keys. Treasure them.
59) Free advice is seldom cheap.
62) The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
74) Knowledge = Profit
75) Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Keys.
98) Every man has his price.
102) Nature decays, but Keys last until use.
109) Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
141) Only fools pay retail.
162) Even in the worst of times, someone makes profit.
190) Hear all, trust nothing.
194) It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
214) Never begin a transaction on an empty stomach.
218) Always know what you're buying.
239) Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
263) Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Keys.
285) No good deed ever goes unpunished.

For those of you who read all of this, it's a simple joke based on the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. For more information, put this link in your web browser of choice: http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition