Recent reviews by Grumpy Bob's Emporium

It left me wanting more...

Although, I'm probably being greedy, because being able to pick up and throw the rake and shovel already gave me .99 worth of thrills.

One day I am going to have to stand before God and explain why I wasted so much time on games like this...
I will probably respond with a question.
"Sooo...do my achievements carry over, or do I have to start a new account?"

One day...my kid is going to be so proud of all the achievements I have logged to this account, and the games I played to get them!

If I saw this game at the bar, I'd buy it a drink, and tell the bar tender that it's on my tab for the rest of the night, and forever.
Not in a creepy way. I just would want it to know that I appreciate it letting me stare at it while it does what it does.
Not to say it would even accept my drink or offer, but I can only dream that it would end in marriage and NGU of all the children we would have together.
But not in a creepy way...

It's not a game, and if it were, it wouldn't really even be much of a demo.
For .49 ...you're a Christian bird, and you can fly around a small wooded area, and walk on water via the lake (that's what led me to believe the bird is a Christian, who has clearly been through the fire, and come out better for it).

Controls and visuals work for what it is.

Getting the 30 day achievement essentially means letting the game play on auto, while you do something more exciting, like think about the amazing year 2021 was for everyone.
...and that's when I looked over and saw Bird fly up, and nose dive, full speed, into the ground...because Bird didn't even want to "play" the game on auto anymore.
...that kinda made me question Bird's salvation, maybe because I'm a bit judgmental sometimes.
Is Bird just dealing with mental health issues and/or trauma? Was Bird Tempted by satan to throw itself "off the mountain" to see if angels would catch it? Did Bird ever even know God? How did Bird walk on water? Was is it faith? Was it strange magic? Or did Bird understand quantum science and utilization of belief in a way that many of us don't?
Though, maybe Bird is very sure of their own salvation, that they have worked out with fear and trembling, and/or I'm wrong about Bird trying to off itself. Not that it would in and of itself mean a lack of salvation by any means. Life is definitely tough sometimes, and gets to the best of us, no matter where we have walked or who we have walked with...

I laughed though, when Bird plowed right into the ground. I thought, oh, that's the missing piece to make this game better. More humor. Or just the ability to land on a branch.

Also...after awhile, on auto, the bird just got stuck between the bridge and a tree...so that kinda eliminated it from being ranked as a screen saver or just peaceful to watch...if the nose diving thing didn't already accomplish that.

The fact I know "games" like this are going to be....what they are, and I buy them anyway...?
I really need to think about what this says about me, and why I spend my very limited time and hard earned money on them.

Does the game ultimately deserve a negative review...yes, no doubt.
But it's like asking someone to punch you as hard they can and paying them .50 to do so, and then being upset that they did.

Ruined Christmas

...I'm sure my children will one day be very proud of how much money I invested into steam achievements, as I teach them to properly steward their money.

The game can be beat in a few minutes.
When I beat it, I was like, "Wait...what? Did I miss something?"
As an achievement hunter, I don't mind short games, but there's a difference between short and just empty, with no depth whatsoever. This game left me feeling that the devs don't care about their product, and have zero respect for the customer's time and money. I normally wait for games like this to go to .49 before buying, but figured what the heck, and got it for about 1.50, which is honestly way too much.
The biggest challenge I ran into was getting the game to not crash and/or freeze up before I could farm enough dust to get the achievement requiring you to level up an item to 100.
Being that the game restarts every time it closes, and there is no continuing your progression once you beat the game, I found this to be a pretty lame issue to deal with, turning an already depthless game into a pointlessly frustrating chore.

I had my .49 worth of fun...and got achievements.