I normally write funny reviews, but this game had me laughing while at the same time questioning the future of humanity.

A RPG, BR that came from Pearl Abyss. Interesting, if I wanted any combat system in a game like this, I would pray that it would be like that of Black Desert. I myself never got heavily into BDO because I'm very competitive and PVP oriented. The RPG grind past 2018 bores to death when there are thousand other games that won't have me waiting to get to the meat of the game. Shadow Arena, in it's current state, pathetically delivers what I imagined BDO PVP being.

Characters -
Shadow Arena is the only good attempt to a BR of this type. Yet the hit registry has me questioning how it is even possible that the game functions at all. There are moments when you're stun locked so hard, you can literally take your hands off the keyboard, wank one off to relieve the stress of attempting to find joy in the game, then realize your match is over with uninstalling being the only way to fix the real issue. On top of being stun locked by the only character that matters, Goyen, being stuck in a loop of dark matter by Yennefer from The Witcher, Ahon Kirus and occasionally being slapped into the ground, picked up and body slammed again like a Slim Jim from Macho Man Randy Savage, Gerhard Shultz, your stun locks will never matter. Because unless you're playing those characters, you get lucky with registry, or you play the two characters that can run away from fights and play like loot goblin rats Yeonhwa and Haru, you'll never win. The Q meant to stop stun locks and E mean to be a flash from League of Legends is cool. But the Q doesn't work sometimes, I found myself in multiple situations where I press the Q and then get knocked to the ground, or my character freezes in place, or I move around with half stamina but not be able to use abilities or dash. There are moments where it's like the game just doesn't, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, respond. Currently, OVER 50% of "top world ranking players" are Goyen mains. The other 30% ish are Yeonhwa, the other are just lucky kids who played a character they wish was good but died to a Goyen in a spin to win move hurdling down towards a Yeonhwa who is right click dashing to safety. I understand the game is still in beta, but how the ♥♥♥♥ does a game based off the pvp and was nearly copied and pasted from another game add up so poorly. I could see this becoming a mobile game within the next three months with hopes that mobile gamers will look past the ♥♥♥♥ gameplay and glimmer at the pretty graphics and buy into cosmetics. What was that ♥♥♥♥♥♥ micro transaction issue that BDO had again? Oh right the Pay to Win progression, maybe you can pay to get items that improve the base line skills your character gets. OR, which is what I'm about to get into, improve your chances/remove the requirements to complete objectives and upgrade gear.

Objectives -
Either they've not been developed, or they don't exist. You start off in a circular arena in the center of the map, when the match begins you become a ball of cancer that flies into the air towards the location you're facing. I like it, very unique approach to the plane vs bus air dropping. In fact the only time I enjoy fighting by dueling in practice and before the match starts. At least then my abilities USUALLY register. After you drop, you kill mobs, and kill mobs and kill mobs, if you're fortunate a player that isn't Goyen will fight you. This fight will be the only fight from beginning to end where things are possibly skill based. There are bosses that randomly spawn on the map. Generally, I've noticed they spawn on the outer ring. These bosses, are CRUCIAL to the success of your match because the time it takes to rank your armor is pathetic. Good luck killing someone fairly to do so. Usually you'll be on the complete opposite side of the map when a boss spawns. If you're lucky it will spawn nearby. By the time you make it to where the boss spawns, the zone has already closed into the next ring. And you're being chased by a Yeonhwa/Ahon/Haru that caught you slipping trying to actually progress past blue armor who will inevitably kill you because they're filthy rat runners who kill people an inch from death because that's usually the best and only way to do it. After dying and spectating the player, you'll see a Goyen sword dashing and swinging his massive ♥♥♥♥ in a circle from outside zone. I would love to get to a boss and fight a player before fighting the boss, being on equal skill/gear. Or even fighting a player with the boss, dodging aoes and attacks. OR EVEN MAYBE AFTER KILLING THE BOSS AND FIGHTING SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN GRINDING MOBS OR KILLING PLAYERS THAT MIGHT BE ON EQUAL GEAR LEVEL. But those are just dreams I had while watching the zone fly past me with Yeonhwa endlessly dashing towards me. There are these, blue relic ring things on the map, I don't think they're added yet. But it says to kill some Shadow Lord or something, which I assume is the boss you died trying to get to. It would be nice if these, actually did something outside of being stolen dreams. Lastly, stolen item progression. After dying or winning a match, you can take 1 piece of gear with you into your next match. A really neat and unique addition to BR. You have to complete "mini quests" aka farm till you die, challenges to unlock them though. Which is fair considering I don't want to drop in a town with a player who has a MAX chest/weapon. If that were the case, devs at Pearl Abyss would become accessories to manslaughter after I find the ♥♥♥♥ who cancer balled into my town. Anything valuable, or worth taking in, IE yellow/red, requires you to kill around 100-140 mobs/heros. If you play anything that doesn't have an aoe to mass farm mobs, GOYEN, don't take items in. By the time you've reached the end of the match, the item pops, that is if you make it that far.

It seems like there are two ways to play this game currently, play Goyen and pull massive groups of mobs to farm items and stun lock players to death. Or pick Yeonhwa/Haru, get lucky killing someone looting with low hp and steal all their loot that would have been impossible for you to obtain through any other means aside from being Goyen or Ahon which are the best heros at farming.

This concludes my review. If you're a BDO or Pearl Abyss fan girl, men don't play their games you prissy princess, who enjoys complaining, please feel free to waste your time crying into my man child mason jar. Maybe I'll collect enough tears to satisfy the thirst Pearl Abyss creates in their audience. But that's still impossible, because tears are of salt. I pray this game "gets gud."

Peace out bitc h, make sure to read that "bitc h" like how Jesse Pinkman says it in Breaking Bad

Bitc h..