Q: What does a horny cow say?
A: I'm in the moOOOooOOoood!

Q: What did the leper tell the hooker?
A: You can keep the tip.

Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick

Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?
A: Oh Snap!

Q: Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?
A: Because he was a little shellfish.

Q: Why did the pirate go to the Caribbean?
A: He wanted some arr and arr.

Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, "Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"
"Are you sure?" asks the second atom.
To which the first atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

Q: What do you do with a blue monkey?
A: Cheer it up!

Q. What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
A. Very lost!

Q. If you were in a jungle by yourself and a gorilla charged you, what would you do?
A. Pay him.

My monkey plays chess.
Your monkey plays chess? He must be clever!
Not really, I usually beat him three times out of four!