you were the hottest security guard <3
we going to get messy like I want?

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

Dont cut your toenails next time i tell you im coming to suck your toes. Or else

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This guy told me he sells recycled condoms behind JB's laundromat.
10/10 reseller, even tho you could tell they were slightly used.