༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ C9 TAKE MY ENERGY ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ



It is Dreamhack Masters Malmö 2017.

The crowd is murmuring as Fnatic prepares to approach the stage. So far, many rumors were spreading about fnatic roster changes, but the true lineup was kept a mystery - until now.

Redeye's voice fills the stadium with force: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE STAGE - FNATIC!

The crowd falls silent as JW, Flusha and Krimz walk up to the stage, visibly sad and tired from all the bootcamping they had to do to be able to 3v5 the entire tournament. They slowly wade over to their booth and begin warming up.

First map is Cobblestone.

The situation is bleak as the score shows 0-14 to the enemy team. Krimz is holding A solo while JW and Flusha are on B. The wall of smokes start flying in to the B site. They know what this means. The full B execute is coming. Spectators are starting to leave early from the arena to get a quick beer before the crowd starts pouring out, and HenryG & Sadokist's voice projects deep sadness as they watch the elite of Swedish Counter-Strike fade into crippling defeat.

But suddenly JW jumps up from stairs and hits an insane jump shot noscope with the AWP right at the same time when Flusha onetaps an enemy through full smoke. Spectators in the arena are stopped dead in their tracks as they turn around to watch the rest of the round in awe.

Meanwhile at home, Dan M gets a raging hard-on

Seconds later JW and Flusha realize it was all a fake. Krimz now has to face three enemies alone on the A site, all heading towards him. He musters up all his courage, jumps out from behind truck and mows everyone down with a perfect spray. 14-1.

The stage lights up as the speakers erupt with a huge blast. The doors slam open, and smoke fills the podium.

"BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM OLOFMEISTER!"

Olof runs up to the stage as the crowd goes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ bananas, sits down right as the round stars, buys only a tec9, rushes B long and aces the entire enemy team with the pistol as he runs down from stairs towards box. The enemy team gets PTSD as the chrowd is chanting "KEKMEISTER! KEKMEISTER!". The noise is more unbearable than flashing an actual chicken coop would be, the crowd goes ecstatic as Dennis suddenly appears out of nowhere on the server with a Deagle, wreaking havoc and decimating everyone, for he is the true pistol God.

16-14. Fnatic wins. The five stand up, walk out from the booth to the grand stage and yell in unison "PERMANENT CONTRACTS BROTHERS!" as the crowd cheers them on.

Then they went on to get wasted, get matching tattoos and win the next 10 majors in a row. Friends gets renewed for a new season starring JW, Flusha, Krimz, Olof, and Dennis.

The end.